z

Young Writers Society



On being Geography Jess

by retrodisco666


On being geography Jess

The night of March 23rd,

As the rain poured down the Welsh countryside,

Beating against student windows,

I emptied my third bottle of wine.

The heat in my throat burnt as I danced around my kitchen,

Or was it my bedroom,

Or the hallway,

To a song that no one was playing.

That night I made up a persona,

Because I was no longer Ross.

Instead I was Jess,

Geography Jess,

She is outgoing, does gymnastics,

Plays hockey, studies geography,

And drunk.

Always drunk.

.

My friends still joke that when I've had a drink,

When the witching hour consumes my glass,

When the dim lit bar becomes my bedroom,

That I become this girl.

That I am no longer the person I claim to be.

.

Being an alcoholic is soul destroying.

Every emotion I taste on my tongue goes

Down like vinegar.

So I wash my mouth out with tequila

Every tear I cry smells like vodka.

Lemonade now just tastes like gin to me,

My bedroom floor has more bottles than a brewery.

I don't remember the last time I fell asleep sober.

.

I did not realise I had a drinking problem,

Until I saw a character in a show deal with addiction.

And today I feel lucid.

I've made it until noon sober.

I'm getting all the words of this poem out before she comes back.

I'm forgetting what it's like to be me,

Instead all I've become is this girl.

Like Jekyll and Hyde I've become this monster.

I've become Geography Jess.

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766 Reviews

Points: 650
Reviews: 766

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Thu Sep 01, 2016 3:20 pm
Brigadier wrote a review...



Hey there retrodisco666. Interesting username choice by the way and I'm going to try and avoid making any jokes during this review. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

The Jekyll and Hyde comparison is a big part of your poem so I should probably discuss that first. Though I didn't like or dislike the poem, I did like some of the comparisons you made.
Does that line above make any sense whatsoever? What I was trying to say is that my position is neutral overall because there were some aspects I liked and others I did not.

Now getting to the actual point of my paragraph of nonsense. The Jekyll and Hyde comparison is fairly accurate considering the type of situation you're trying to describe. Being underage, I can only compare such situations to literary and movie details. You may think I don't get some of the points because I am young and that is also accurate. At one point in your poem though, I started to look too deeply into meanings, like is the mc here also Jekyll and Hyde when he's sober. That was probably just me thinking too hard about your poem but overall I do like the repeated use of this idea.

And here comes the part I'm just trying to get through so I can continue with my review. As per my own rules of reviewing, not sure why I even have them, I feel the need to do two or three lines on spelling and grammar. Haha. There's nothing to be found in this section of my review today, so please continue on to the next paragraph.

As the rain poured down the Welsh countryside,

Beating against student windows,

I emptied my third bottle of wine.

The heat in my throat burnt as I danced around my kitchen,

Or was it my bedroom,

Or the hallway,

-Also great job narrowing down the setting.
-So sorry for the amount of sarcasm in the above line, the joke was just so convenient for me and I haven't written jokes into reviews for awhile.
-I mean really in the mc's drunken state they could have danced around the entire apartment. Or if it was a college dorm, all of them would have been the same room. (Yep no more jokes.) I think a lot of people would find that sort of description, careless or sloppy. But (you knew there was a but coming) I didn't which I'm guessing I'll regret liking it later. Probably about two am when I'm pondering my existence now that Doctor Who is gone from Netflix. That time is usually reserved for yelling about reviews but I miss Classic Who.

I didn't actually have anymore comments than all the ones I've already used. Hopefully some of them will help in some way, other than just getting this piece out of the green room.
Anyways, have a nice day.
Happy RevMo.
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs
Live long and prosper.




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60 Reviews

Points: 87
Reviews: 60

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Sun Aug 28, 2016 5:14 pm
Spartan118 wrote a review...



Hi this is Spartan 118 here for a super awesome amazing super awesome cool fun time review and I hope you love my review.
First off let me say that the title of this poem goes along with the poem so well. Second I didn't see any grammar or punctuation errors nor was I looking for them specifically nor was I caring to find any at all. Third it seems like to me that this was wrote about a personality that comes to life when you drink to much alcohol. Fourth if you have a problem you need to talk to someone close to you to help you with that problem. Fifth I am really excited to see that there are poems out there that are written about a personal addiction and how sad it is to see them suffer from that addiction. Last but not least I do hope you manage to get over your addiction one day and I hope that you have a wonderful life addiction free afterwards.
This is Spartan 118 and I hope you loved super awesome amazing super awesome cool fun time review.
I wish/hope you have a wonderful day, evening, night, or morning depending on where you live.





What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
— William Shakespeare