Almost.

If you go away from my house

you get to a green rolling field.

If you are stand there at sunset

you can see the light eclipse itself

and it feels like you're staring into infinity.

It is here that I learn the real meaning of the word almost.

.

This field is where I almost had my first kiss

with Elizabeth Helder, who's teeth were wired

like an animals cage. Who had red spots

on her cheeks and wore a garish pink dress.

I didn't kiss her because I was afraid

but I almost placed my lips against hers.

.

This field is where I almost broke up with

Sarah Mcfaren because we were sixteen

and she was scared we were getting too serious.

We didn't break up. We decided to keep trying.

We decided to give this doomed opportunity

a second try and not end the pain.

But, we almost did.

.

This field is where my sister almost lost her virginity.

She was eleven and that man almost robbed her

of what she considered sacred and pure.

She screamed out loud and luckily that woman

heard her and came running...

Though she almost didn't.

.

This field is bordering the woods.

Those woods which my father almost killed himself.

He almost put that noose around his neck,

he almost fell and hung from that

old oak until every ounce of oxygen

left his body.

He didn't but he almost did.

.

I was standing on that field.

I was watching the sunset

and I was watching the sky enter infinity.

I wanted to run and jump

into the infinite void and disappear.

I considered that

perfect nothing that lay past this field.

And I was ready to run...

almost.