Judgement day

by retrodisco666

Published December 22, 2010

In poem

The sky, it beats.
Pulsates with runs of red.
The blood of thousands in which
it has taken.

You can smell the fear,
the pain, the blood.
You can sit it as well,
littered across the road
like modern art.

Rain falls like bombs,
colliding with the ground
in a war like fashion.
I sit and watch,
and I am afraid.
Afraid of dying;
afraid of living.

Burning souls drag themselves
along streets they used to know,
but know, the signs are smeared
with crimson memories.

So this is Judgement day,
the end of everything we knew.
We step into this new millenium as
lambs do to the slaughter!
We're all scared,
but there is nothing we can do,
other than, die.

Comments & reviews · 4
User avatar
Teacake013
Review
Teacake013 wrote a review Review · Feb 25, 2015

It is a nice start, good for and that's from someone who just started to upload his/her but even so, I can say I liked "THE DAY OF JUDGEMENT"......
One thing I did (and this is only my opinion) it's not the happy ending, for I use to dislike a perfect and happy finale, but in spite of that, very good job.
You put reality in in it …....
Life is it gumdrops and rainbows and when we all go It won't be either
Your realism is nice and refreshing
Hope you write more……

Love , teacake013
:):/:3

User avatar
Sarah Pass
Review
Sarah Pass wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2010

Hey retrodisco66,overall I really liked your poem but there are a few things that I would change such as: the line that says "you can sit it as well" I think this must be a typo because it didn't make much since to me. Did you mean to write you can sit in it as well? Also the ending was very morbid, when something is as sad as this piece is I think even if there isn't a happy ending it should still be a little lighter so the poem won't give off a feeling of hopelessness and depression. Well I hope this helps,keep up the great work!

User avatar
shiney1
Review
shiney1 wrote a review Review · Dec 22, 2010

Great poem. I like the subject, and the end of the world seems to be something that has become a popular topic of discussions. I think your poem is more like a rated PG version of what the real Judgment Day will be like, and thank you, for I am not really in the mood for guts and gore. It flows very nicely, and no punctuation errors that I can spot. It also has good imagery and great diction, and I can feel the hopelessness, sorrow, and fear.
Nice



mashed potatoes are v a l i d
— Liminality