This is my entry for the YWS hunger games. My prompt was to write about a piece of history, without using the word history. It must also be history which has been taught in schools. My piece is based on the persucuation of gay men in concentration camps during World War Two.
They wore pink triangles,
Pinned to grey shirts as they
Marched through wrought iron gates,
Twisted into queer and sardonic shapes;
‘Arbeit macht frei’ welded into coarse iron
Marking the way into hell.
But work does not earn freedom,
Nothing earns freedom.
Work earns pain,
Like overloads the whip comes down
Shattering bone and dreams with each hit.
.
They wore pink triangles.
Like a box on a form they were
Categorized within those camps.
Pink means homosexual.
Pink means illness.
Pink means curable.
Pink means castrated,
It means tortured
It means pain and suffering
And trying to cure something
Which cannot be cured.
.
They wore pink triangles;
Locked in dark rooms,
The smell of rust and blood circulating
Within those hallowed halls.
Dirty needles burrowed into their veins,
sickness pumped into them.
With each shot their stomachs overturned;
Like a ship lost at sea it tumbled
And flipped into an acidic ocean;
Waves of vomit came over them
And left them marooned and ‘ill’.
Their grey clothes now undistinguishable
Except for their mocking pink triangles.
.
The converted were held as a
Pariah of lies.
Their survival was worth more
than their integrity.
But who can blame them?
When your only future is death
The words which leave their parched
And starved lips will be the truths
Fed to them by hands of others.
But the rest get the barrel buried
Beneath bloody and bruised lips;
Warm metal burning the roof of their mouth
Fresh from the heads of their friends
Who litter the room around them;
Welcome to Sachsenhausen
We hope you enjoy your stay.
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137,689 Literary Works • 672,059 Reviews
Hello, @retrodisco666! I am @emeraldfox, representing the Night Furies this review day!
This was such a vivid poem. I love anything historical, especially if it is put into a poem. And then you add LGBTQ+ rights, which is something I am very passionate about, and I'm hooked! I knew a little bit about this, but your poem brought it to life and added so much imagery to it. I liked how you talked about this in a similar way to how the Jewish concentration camps are often described. This is because when most people today hear about how Jews were treated, they are horrified and disgusted. But they often toss aside the fact that the same cruel treatment was given to gay people during that time because LGBTQ+ people aren't as accepted in society as Jewish people are. So your poem brought the issue up in a way that people can understand because they had learned about concentration camps in schools already. I liked how you took a historical event, but put it into words that can be understood today. You had a good use of punctuation, the poem flowed nicely, and your meter was strong. After I read this, I searched for pictures of the Sachsenhausen camp and I found teh gates that you described. And your description matched the pictures perfectly-great job! You clearly took the time to edit this because I didn't find any grammar, spelling, capitalization, or punctuation errors.
Great job on this! I learned a lot, as I'm sure many other people did, too. You described this historical event perfectly with great imagery. I wish I had your talent when it comes to writing! *likes*
*thundrous applause*
*standing ovation*
Hi!
I'm glad you wrote this! I know this isn't the first thing that comes to mind when someone says "holocaust" or "Death camp". This perspective is not very commonly thought of, so I'm glad you brought this to the attention of many people. Great job expressing this! It flows nicely, and overall just sounds great. Keep up the good work!
I'm glad you wrote about this, most people think it was just the Jews and people who didn't have blonde hair and blue eyes...
Hey.
I agree with the comments made in the previous review. I didn't know about this, so you have educated me. But I don't think that was the purpose of the piece, just an additional feature. On the other hand, you write about gay people and the 'gay issue' A LOT. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you are in danger of sounding like a broken record.
I think it's fantastic that you're passionate about writing about something so controversial and standing up for your own ideas and advocating your opinions and all that... but... you might start creating the impression that you can't write about anything else. And you can.
You're a really thought provoking writer and there are a wide scope of issues that you have the ability to write about. That's why i think it's a shame you would limit yourself in this way (be more diverse!)
As for the work itself: it's written with good use of literary techniques such as alliteration and the like, but I don't like the way the stanzas are so unevenly structured. Part of me thinks this may be due to a formatting fault - in which case: ignore my comments on this.
Keep writing.
~BSF
Hey thanks for the comment. The uneven stanzas are just my style of writing haha
as for this well I had to choose something historical for the games and this was the only thing I know enough about realt as it had to be something taught. And I do write about other things it's just the gay based ones seen to game notoriety :p but thanks for the comments baha
Hey thanks for the comment. The uneven stanzas are just my style of writing haha
as for this well I had to choose something historical for the games and this was the only thing I know enough about realt as it had to be something taught. And I do write about other things it's just the gay based ones seen to game notoriety :p but thanks for the comments baha
Hey thanks for the comment. The uneven stanzas are just my style of writing haha
as for this well I had to choose something historical for the games and this was the only thing I know enough about realt as it had to be something taught. And I do write about other things it's just the gay based ones seen to game notoriety :p but thanks for the comments baha
Oh my god. I had no idea that this even existed. I simply thought the Nazis tossed all undesirables into a camp and things just went from there. I didn't know anything about homophobia, in DEATH CAMPS of all places.
In the first set of lines, you said "Twisted into queer and sardonic shapes". I like how you used the word "queer" in that context, knowing full well that people use it to describe the people you're writing about. Well done.
The second set shows how the triangle-wearers were driven away and separated from the other prisoners. Their experiences were in a league of their own. "And trying to cure something/which cannot be cured." Back then, homosexuality was considered a disease.
Anyway, I must go. And bravo! I love this here poem. It's just screaming with emotion.