Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
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130,785 Literary Works • 671,481 Reviews
Aggh... major tense issues.
But well written, all the same
Awww, this was so cute. I LOVE the Kyle/Jon thing and this was great....it also made me extremely hungry but I'll get over it. lol
They are just the cutest friends I've ever met. Though I've always wanted it to be a "more-than-friend" thing, it's turning out that even "just friends" is wonderful.
I love Prosthesis!!!
I want to be the #1 fan of this too! Everything you've put in here is exciting and new AND relates to Ch., it's like so freakin' amazing!
Keep it up Bradness!
~Rieda
See? That is the "can't settle down" Kyle, even if he meant it in joke.
I love the comparison.
another point in why kyle can't get hitched! but anywho, unles "that's" is "that has" I don't that that is right.... and it certainly isn't "that it".
space
you keep putting some verbs in the present. Not only does it freak me out, it makes my grammar brain hurt.... ach, verbs!
awwwwwwww! They're so cuuuuuuuuuute! *gushes all over you* But really, the present tense hurts my brain. If it isn't incorrect, help me before my brain dies!
I'm starting to pick up on minor details you point out (like the paper bag being the closest thing kyle has ever come to gift wrap) that say so much about the character. I'm hoping seeing you do it will help me learn how to do it.
*dances* I'm not sure why? I like this one. Yes. Gooey.