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140,907 Literary Works • 673,717 Reviews
There should be a comma instead of a period after Jonathon.
No other complaints, though. This part was especially good.
-Jenna
YAY! I've been waiting for this one and it was definitley worth waiting for it. I loved how you ended it as well. Kyle and John are getting pretty close, can't wait to see what happens next. This is what they would call a page-turner. lol. Great Job.
It was good. I haven't a single complaint!
Well, no. At one point, the dialog/action got weird and I couldn't see it happening (The fight) but eventually it picked back up. It was just awkward was all.
You write so well. I really want to see this on a shelf. I caught no errors.