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140,907 Literary Works • 673,717 Reviews
Hello! I've been reading these, and until now, I haven't had a critique.
This sounds kind of fake.
That's all of my critique! I like really like your ending on this one. I'm off to go read the rest.
-Jenna
...I had a bloody post here, and it left me.
Anyway.
Don't interrupt Jonathon's dialogue with Kyle's actions - you do it a few times. There's a long string of dialogue where Jonathon addresses Kyle by name in every single sentence. That's annoying; don't do that. Emo Jonathon returns.
Nice ending, though. Wonderful comeback. I might start using that...
Came back, finally...
missing a word?Loved the humor, and the drama, and the smartness.
Nice comment to bring back
Your words in this impress me more and more. I love how everyone tells Jon to get laid, that's hylarious. Good job on this one.
that sounds SOO cool!
I'll have to finish this later. I'm seriously trying to do it now, but I can't concentrate. Sorry!
And, the math doesn't confuse me. I love it. I get it all. I love science and health and math, that stuff fascinates the snot out of me; I just cant do big math work. But I love theories. hee.