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Young Writers Society



Melnikov #3 /P

by Incandescence


Removed.


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2058 Reviews


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Mon Jul 30, 2007 2:28 am
Emerson wrote a review...



Eh.

I'm not entirely sure I'll continue reading this. Sure, it may pick up in a few pieces and you'll probably drive me up a wall until I read it, but for now it's bland. You're running off of the characters, and as much as I love them, it's ran dry. CMP isn't interesting unless something crazy is happening. Sure you need down time, but the beginning of a novel isn't for down time or for confusion. It's like nothing is happening. Why would I want to read a novel where nothing is happening?




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Sat Jul 28, 2007 7:28 am
LowKey wrote a review...



He tried to imagine all that had been lost in the last fefw months...


few

"When part of the continent sank into the earth, it caused a decrease in the sea-level, thus causing weather patterns to change.


You need a quotation mark at the end there. :)

Wouldn't it make the sea-level increase? If you drop a rock in a cup of water, the water will raise higher. Or if you fill a swimming pool to the brim and even if you slowly get in, it'll overflow or come close to it, no matter how big you are.

Jon had never told Kyle but when he died for this few minutes, he could still hear Kyle's voice.


Those?

Loved Chinophobia, loved Prothesis, and I love Melnikov. Kyle's still my favorite. Keep posting!




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Sat Jul 28, 2007 7:22 am
Riedawriter23 wrote a review...



"Wha? No, man.
*I don't know if the wha here was unfinished on purpose. lol

"When part of the continent sank into the earth, it caused a decrease in the sea-level, thus causing weather patterns to change.
*quotation marks on the end of this.

"What happened. Millions of years of eveolution and in one day we destroy it all."
*evolution

Jon agreeed.
*agreed.

That was all I found. I loved this one! A lot of feeling and it reminded me of healing. I'm so glad that Jon and Kyle are getting closer and yet, before the ending (which I absolutely loved. Lol.) I sensed timidness! They seemed a little far away from each other, but I guess that was because they were thinking of those times again. Those horrible times *shudders* I hope they fully heal. This quietness is reminding me of the quiet times in the beginning of Pros and Ch. so I'm guessing that the havoc is to reek soon? Off to the next then! Wonderful job as always!

~Rieda





Why does the Air Force need expensive new bombers? Have the people we've been bombing over the years been complaining?
— George Wallace