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139,536 Literary Works • 672,600 Reviews
This was an interesting take to do. I love the jumpyness of this anthology/novel. It reflects my own scatter-mindedness, and is a creative comfort, of sorts.
With that being said, this bordered excessive at parts, though you displayed general good taste in when to stop the commentary.
I do hope the narrator's a character
Adam mentioned typo stuff.
(You licked Jack again...)
You should consider writing narration for documentary shows.
I have two things I'd like to say about these new style chapters you've been giving us, they're written as if we are watching a documentary.
1. Writing is tough. (Duh?) Being able to write and convince the reader that they aren't reading, they're living someones life, is good. But being able to read something and be convinced that you are watching a movie (despite the fact that the descriptions are so perfect, that they have their own form of narration) is amazing. The first time I saw something like this was in House of Leaves, or the little bit that I had gotten through yet. It's impressive to be reading, forget that you are reading, and feel as though you are watching a movie, literally because, the movie scenes are being spoken of. It seems like it would be very difficult to do, and yet you accomplish it.
2. It crossed my mind: is the narrator, perhaps, a character?
That should be that's or that is and you needed a comma
double word
Wow. Very insightful. I am so addicted to this. I love they way you write it and the descriptions are amazing. I dont know if i can wait for you to post the next one. *Probes Brad's brain for some more*
Good job
Ooo this was nice Brad. This was nice and calm and yet so informative!
The camere gently turned towards the equator.
*Just change that to camera. Tis all I found wrong lol.
You're so awesome Bradness, care to share some of those brains? Loved this one as well!:)
~Rieda
or...you could? *lick*
Jack,
Yeah. I was in a rush; have to fix when I'm done with rounds.
Grazie,
Brad
I think you mean Prosthesis #10 XD