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140,561 Literary Works • 673,435 Reviews
This was great. I liked the reactions of the people and how you described each. You're putting John and Kyle in an awkward situation almost everytime, almost like a non-spoken kind-a-thing. I really like that, it makes the story more interesting. Keep up the good work!
Hey. This was good, and it held my attention the whole time. I was confused when you went from Johnathon to Kyle. I wasn't sure which one was getting married to Sarah until the middle of the story. You may want to switch a few things on that. I loved the way you began your story though.
These bolded actions just....came across funny. I understood what was going on but...at the same time, didn't.
I love your work, Brad! I look forward to more!