Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,561 Literary Works • 673,435 Reviews
Homosexuality? Delightful.
I think this chapter may have introduced too much at once. They say the reader will only take one surprise at a time. I found it hard to believe that Glowsky had actually changed his mind over ten thousand dollars (Kyle seems to be very loose with his wallet...where the hell does he teach?) and then came the elevator conversation. The dialogue wasn't all that realistic; I felt, again, that it was being written by some screenwriter, but it wasn't quite of House quality this time. In terms of medical dramas, it was hovering around Grey's Anatomy for a little while when they were talking about Callie, and that's not so great.
The last chapter did make Kyle seem like House, but this one doesn't, so that's good. Jon's kind of like House, too, but a little more awkward. He's so insecure. I like him.
Colleen
I loved how you ended this piece! I'm also wondering if Jon is gay, possibly even Kyle because he said anyone would sleep with him,(or was that just him being his usual cocky humorous self?) This is a wonderful story because every post something gets answered and a brand new question occurs! WOW! LOVE THIS STORY! I'm just glad that I'm getting to read it before it gets published!
I know all I'm doing at this point is complimenting. Oh well, deal.
I like how he just ignores him and nods, like its always like this, don't worry about it. You have this awesome ability to say one thing that tells us so many other things about the people.Funky transition. Maybe I'm miss reading this, is it happening here or some where else?
again, just this tells us so much. Bravo.
HOLY CRAP I'M FREAKING OUT!— And I thank you for such a lovely bite of story. When can I expect more?
Is he *gasp* gay? Or being sarcastic? Because if he was gay it would be exciting.