Prosthesis #22 /P

by Incandescence

  • Novel / Chapter

Published April 7, 2007

In Chionophobia/Prosthesis/Melnikov

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Removed.

End of chapter

Continue to next chapter Prosthesis #23 /P
Comments & reviews · 2
User avatar
Emerson
Review
Emerson wrote a review Review · May 3, 2007

"Yeah," Jon murmurs, his throat clogged. "I'm fine." He looks at Kyle, looks like he wants something, something physical; something which would make him cry if he said it aloud.
That paragraph is in the present tense... everything else is in the past, so it bugs me.

Kyle relishes his best friend's breathy moan at the contrasting temperatures of his mouth and the air.


Also in present tense.

You make me want to cry! I want Jon to get better...

User avatar
Riedawriter23
Review
Riedawriter23 wrote a review Review · Apr 7, 2007

OMG! That turned from like a hot Jon/Kyle sex scene to a scary Kyle cutting himself scene! Okay, now I think THIS is my favorite! Omg, I know this was just a dream but...wow, this was really great Brad! Great descriptions, great feeling! I love how I knew that it was dream, yet I was scared for the characters all the same. I mean how much is this going to break Jon now? And will he ever look at Kyle the same way again?

I can't wait for the next!!

~Rieda



Veni, vidi, scripsi ~ I came, I saw, I wrote
— steampowered