Young Writers Society

Hello there,

this is a nice concise piece that I think would benefit from some larger metaphor and figurative language use. Inspiration is spelled wrong at the end. But overall good grammar and spelling! Just a bit more description and lengthening out these concepts would be a positive addition to the piece.

Best wishes in writing!

~alliyah

Hi, J here for a review.
This was a great poem and I could see where you were going with it. It just needs to have more. If there was a little bit more lines with some deeper similarities and a better flow I could give it a more honest review. Try to add some lines and make the poem longer. Over all the poem was very good it had a great rhyme that was hardly ever distrubed.

Good Job and Keep Writing!!

Hello again. I don't know how many of your poems I'm going to review, but I'm just cruising through.

I enjoyed this. I totally agree with the theme: Silence can definitely let the mind fester enough to provide motivation from the deepest layers of it. Reading this though, the poem has definitely charmed me--BUT I felt as though it wasn't executed particularly well.

The first two lines have a regular rhythm that I liked, but it began to fall apart with "complete silence". I was a little confused about the line "that seem to disrupt thought". Is it related to "complete silence" or the "little intervals"? A lack of punctuation may have contributed, and while I am NOT belittling such a style, I think that some clarity would be nice here.

Just as a thought experiment, you can try shifting line breaks, which I regularly do when I write poems. I just shift and move back and fuss till it looks alright--and then it later moves again XD. Adding a little imagery would be nice too, but the read was an enjoyable one anyway.

Good-bye (maybe for now). I hope this review helped!