Romance is for suckers
Who fall under the spell
Of lies and lust and laughter
I know this all to well.
.
It always starts out splendid
Such sweet infatuation
Until the heart is shattered
A pain with no salvation.
.
Yet human nature bids us try
Try and try again
Until our very soul is spent
Seeking what no one ever wins.
.
True love isn't a dreamy romance
Kissed by the morning dew
It is friendship and family
That will guide you through.
.
Just remember this
The next time your heart aches
Romance may be daunting
But real love never breaks .
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137,435 Literary Works • 672,020 Reviews
I really love the way you start and the thoughts put into this work.
Well, I love the theme in general, but this work is great, with the left aside.
I will check it and correct it, but even like this, it is beautiful and realistic. I love the rhymes you had thought of and put into the spanzas, even if, sadly, the rhyme and smooth flow had been broken at the third spanza. Hope this can be fixed.
I can not say anything more, than that you had expressed the 'real love'perfectly, in your own way.
Editing Zone
Romance is for suckers,
who fall under the spell,
of lies, lust and laughter.
I know this all too well.
.
It always starts out splendid.
Such sweet infatuation,
until the heart is shattered,
a/- pain with no salvation.
.
Yet human nature bids us try.
Try and try again.
Until our very soul is spent,
seeking what no one ever wins.
.
True love isn't a dreamy romance.
Kissed by the morning dew,
it is friendship and family,
that will guide you through.
.
Just remember this,
the next time your heart aches.
Romance may be daunting,
but real (here there was double space hit) love never breaks.
You do not need to take my corrections as soemthing right and important for you to follow.
I hope you just continue writing beautifully like this.
Good job!
Good job!
In the last sentence of the first paragraph, "to" is supposed to be "too."
In the second paragraph, the last two lines should have some sort of punctuation between them, since they're like two different complete thoughts.
In the last stanza, you made a typo in the third sentence. It's supposed to be "may" instead of "my" right? Also, you have some extra spaces between some words in the very last line.
You did a pretty good job here! Keep it up, and good luck!
Not really, but thanks
Couple of nitpicks:
I loved your poem because it’s realistic and sheds light on today’s society. Traditionally, true love was associated with a “dreamy romance” and the like, and I feel that the mass media played a significant part into it. However, people are now realising that sometimes, having real friends and a supportive family is all you need. I could deeply connect to this poem. It was very heart touching, especially the last stanza. Thanks for sharing it with us!
Well done, and keep writing!
Hey, @speakerskat! Nice poem you've got here.
My first nitpick that I found in this work of yours was:
I see that in your poem you had a rhyme scheme that took place in each stanza. In this stanza, however, something went wrong. Your rhyming dropped and broke because you stopped the rhyme from continuing. To make this better, you should change the words and stanza up to keep the rhythm going.
To the next nitpick:
Here you wrote 'Romance my be daunting', and instead you should write 'Romance may be daunting'. That was just a quick typo that you can easily fix
Well, this was a great poem to review and read! I love the overall concept of how you write about real, true love. It is something that can be very useful, I think. My favorite part was your first line. It really cracked me up, but also intrigued me. Great plus there, speakerskat.
It was fun reviewing!
~ Sunset101
Thanks for the review and wins and again do rhyme it's just a little different