Tiny Angle in orange fur,
there curled up like a ball,
sleeping near her peacefully,
but listening to all.
He is the guardian and guide,
truly this girls best friend,
no matter what she faces,
he'll be there to the end.
With sweet purrs for melodies,
that only he can sing,
she'll see the purest light,
in all the darkest things.
However her heart screams ,
and lies will surely pry,
this angle on soft paws,
will teach her to fly high.
When fate takes it's toll,
and forces the bond apart,
her sweet ball of fluff,
will stay near her heart.
From the memories they share,
she grows everyday,
For he has gone home,
Tiny Angel lead the way.
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Canary word: Present
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
Rest In Peace O'Brian. <3
Here to review and help, if possible, with your lovely work, that I just saw.
i see you have enough review already, but I hope one more is not bad, ha?
I really like the innocent and sweetness of this work. The way you use every single word, also, even if this may sound weird. You had used the vocabulary very well and the words are not repeating a lot, because you know what else you can use in their place, so you make it even more interesting, even if you talk about the same thing.
I am not sure if you mean 'Angel', but surely, this is what it is going on here.
So edit only this in the firts line.
'listening to it all' sounds better and this way you are more certain about the idea.
Maybe you had forgotten it while writing this work of yours, but 'girls' needs to be 'girl's'.
With sweet purrs for melodies,
that only he can sing,
she'll see the purest light,
in all the darkest things.
Just dropping it out, that I love this part, and it is surely my favourite one from the whole piece of writing. I love the rhyme in it, and the sweet smoothness that you feel, when you read it.
You do not need space before the comma, only after it it most of the situations, in which we are not in now.
'it's' needs to be only 'its'.
Optional edit from 'from' to 'with'.
'For' needs to be 'for'.
I do not know if 'Tiny Angel' needs to be with capital letters, but I will accept it as his name.
Really sweet work it really turned out to be. I am glad, that I read it, it worth it.
Hey I really apperciate all these reviews, just a tip to keep you out of toile though....try not to copy and paste too much of the persons work into the review especially on review days. A lot of people do that just to generate points without actually reviewing.
oh, I do not need the points, I donate them for a contest anyways
but thank you for warning me
I review your works only because I like them XD
Hello! My name is Dianne and I am going to review your poem today!
First off, did you mean to say “angle” or “angel”? I think it’s supposed to be “angel” so I’m just going to go along with that small change.
I love how sweet and subtle this poem is. You have good word choice and a nice rhyme scheme.
I especially loved the lines “With sweet purrs for melodies,/that only he can sing,/she’ll see the purest light,/in all the darkest things.” This is a great image.
The ending is also very subtle, but it gets the message across and I absolutely adore it. The ending feels like a perfect summary to this poem and I love the way it seems hopeful instead of sad and painful.
Overall, I loved this poem and I think you did a good job of creating tone in it.
Keep writing,
Dianne
Aw thank you
Hi so I'm here to review! So this poem is really endearing and I honestly loved reading it. I especially like the line: 'she'll see the purest light,in all the darkest things,' because it shows how much animals do change your perspective and also lines like these give the poem a rhythmic aspect. I also particularly liked when you said that the cat had 'sweet purs for melodies,that only he can sing' because it makes the reader like the bond between the owner and pet. When this bond was broken you showed the impact the animal still had on her life with 'from the memories they share, she grows everyday' which wraps the poem up with a positive out of a negative. To make the poem even better, you need to keep the word 'angel' consistent in the poem because you started with:'tiny angle in orange fur,' which doesn't make sense and also with 'this angle on soft paws.' Nethertheless, it's a nice sweet poem and I hope you keep writing so I can read more of your work!
-JasmineC
So funny o just reviewed something of yours . Thanks I consodrred that but I often repeat words in my poems and I wanted to try something new.
Haha
okay
Clickdun here :3 Let's talk about your poem...
Um, I'm testing out the waters here as I've never actually read poetry and am quite nervous about reviewing it. I don't know where to start you see?
But I did like this poem. It was cute, short and sweet. The language was beautiful (as is expected in poetry) and I liked it.
Forgive my lack of knowledge in poetry which is resulting in me having no idea about how to review this.
So, um, yeah.
From what I can tell this poem is about a guardian to a little girl. And that's it. Yay me for interpretation, and ugh, I have no critiques.
It was perfect. 10/10
Write on!
~ Lord Clickdun
Haha that's okay and thanks . It was also implied the guardian was a cat and he died and went to heaven