I'm uguly.
A tasteless insult
but it burns.
.
I'm dumb.
A boring critique
but it bites.
.
I'm useless
a general term
but it stings.
.
I'm annoying.
An overused remark
but it suffocates.
.
Self-deprecation
doesn't have to be fancy;
its depression
not English class.
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139,870 Literary Works • 672,780 Reviews
Heya, this is Jedi, here for a review!
First off, I really enjoyed this poem-- very simple, but full of emotion. But on to the critique.
Might wanna get rid of the extra "u" in ugly there, but other than that this is a good strong starting stanza.
Something about the use of "boring" here doesn't suit the context. Maybe "typical" "colorless" or "bland" would work better here? Maybe it's just personal preference.
The first line needs a semicolon or a period. "General," could maybe be replaced with another word with more emotion, but it's up to you.
Love this stanza, especially the word "suffocates". It really fits well here. No negative comments here...
Wonderful end to a very good work! A couple things though: "its" needs an apostrophe, and I like what you're trying to get across with the word "fancy" but it doesn't seem to fit here... it brings to mind gold and jewelry. Perhaps there is a synonym that would fit the context better?
Overall, this was a very well-written piece and I enjoyed the straightforwardness of it. Also, at the end of the 2nd line of each stanza there should be a comma. Great work and keep writing! (please note that everything aside from the grammatical errors here could be counted as personal preference) hope this is helpful!
Very strong poem! It's plain and simple, which makes it all the stronger. The typo of ugly might want to be fixed
. I like how in each and every verse, you make what you are saying leap out.
In the first verse, you are basically saying how even though it's a tasteless insult, it's empty, doesn't mean anything, so it burns.
I guess what I'm just trying to say is that this poem is strong. It gets right down to the heart of it. I would just maybe put "Not an English class" but that's up to you.
Great job! Keep writing!
Very strong poem! It's plain and simple, which makes it all the stronger. The typo of ugly might want to be fixed
. I like how in each and every verse, you make what you are saying leap out.
In the first verse, you are basically saying how even though it's a tasteless insult, it's empty, doesn't mean anything, so it burns.
I guess what I'm just trying to say is that this poem is strong. It gets right down to the heart of it. I would just maybe put "Not an English class" but that's up to you.
Great job! Keep writing!
Sorry about posting that twice. Computer glitch.