My heart
Is a battlefield
Two opposing men
Pull on either side
One a lost lover
One a new chance
Both hold my heart
Firm in their hands
Accidentally
Ripping me apart
'
Will I bend
Will I break
Whose hand
Shall I take
'
Or will stress
Claim it's bride
With death
In its stride
'
It's time to make
An important decision
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
Or will stress
Claim it's bride
With death
In its stride
This spanza is seriously my favourite from this short poetry.
I can not be sure who are we talking about in this work but I will try to figure it out myself. XD
So surely it is romance thing because we are talking about a choice between two man.
A woman trying to choose between an old lsot love and a new chance with someone new in her life, I guess. I see this as an impossible choice to make as you describe it.
The capitalization in the beginning of each line is not my favourite but I think this is the choice of the writer? You choose to use it or not. With that left behind, I really love this work.
Maybe the spanza from above is my favourite because of the smooth and sweet rhyme there.
Keep on writing. Surely you will keep on doing it even if I say it or not.
Hi speakerskat, acm here for a review! I really liked this poem. It had a great rhythm and the battlefield metaphor really enhanced the poem. The only thing I would fix, is the punctuation.
This, I would make,
'Will I bend?
Will I break?
Whose hand
shall I take?'
Since they are all questions, they need to have some sort of punctuation. That was the only thing, though. This had a really great message, and I loved how it subtly rhymed, but the rhyming didn't take over the poem. Great job!
Speakerskat, This was a magnificent poem! It reminds me of Twilight a little. Your flow was great and kept me reading. I can also relate to this a lot. I think that your words ring true for a bunch of people.
"Will I bend
Will I break
Whose hand
Shall I take"
These words are the best in the poem in my opinion. They tell how she (I'm assuming the person is a she) feel about choosing one over the other. It really touched me this poem did. You did a marvelous job writing it. I don't see anything wrong with it at all. Keep writing and I hope to read more of your work in the future!
AshleyDashley
Can I just say: wow!
This poem is truly amazing and so well written!!
The first verse was my favorite just because it flowed so well. I can tell that this person (I'm guessing it's a girl) is in love with two people and she can't decide who to be with. The two men (let's just say it's a girl) are unknowingly ripping her heart apart and she doesn't know what to do. Her last resort is death but she is trying to hold out because her time is almost over and she is close to making her decision.
Great poem, I had nothing to cortque you on other than the ending could rhym but that's just a personal preference, nothing that must be fixed.
Keep writing wonderful poems!
-Gymnast2801
Hullo, luv!
I love seeing creativity like that in writing. 
First off, I really love your word choice. It's also a relatable subject; a lot of people have been there. It's incredible how often the old and the new overlap in such a way that eats at you.
On the reviewing side of things, the alterations in line-count per stanza threw me off a bit, but that's just me personally.
Also, I love, love, LOVE your death reference. The idea you're married to death when you pass is interesting and thought-provoking. Strangle enough, it made me smile.
I also enjoyed how you tied in the title with the end; it was abrupt, but satisfying. It really suits the topic-matter.
Finally, I really enjoy the way you distribute your syllables in your lines! It makes for a choppy, breathy feel that goes a long ways while reading. Really gets you into the tension and anxiety of a situation like that.
Happy writing!!
Mahn!!!....so awesome....wish you all the best in your writing career!