Out of My Head

Hey, I really really loved this poem! The emotion and just pure sadness of the speaker is not at all forced onto the reader, it flows very well and the emotions of the speaker seem very natural. I also loved how each stanza rhymed. Basically the whole poem just flowed really well.
I really loved the simplistic language, reflecting on how it's all over for the speaker, nothing more can be done. I can't think of any criticism for this poem.
It's honestly so beautiful. Thanks for sharing

Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.

This poem first struck me as someone getting mad over not being able to express their emotions efficiently through poetry and possibly hurting themselves, but after reading it again, the screaming feels less like being angry or venting about something and more about throwing away your future by committing suicide. Perhaps this was caused by feeling like a worthless writer, and perhaps it was caused by a general hatred for oneself. Either way, suicide is no joke, and this poem should be taken very seriously.

By the way, this would be a great song because of the interesting rhyme scheme and shorter lines/stanzas. I liked this poem for its darkness, even if it pretty serious.

That's all for today. Keep writing amazing literature that inspires me to read and review them, and have a great Review Day! Let's beat the Blues once and for all!

~ZeldaIsShiek

I love the story and concept of this. It was mostly well-executed. I loved the use of figurative language, too! My only critique is that rhymes seemed a bit forced at points, which interrupted the rhythm, but it was overall great!

Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.

So, the first thing I noticed in the poem was that a bunch of places are missing commas. Friendly reminder, if you aren't going to put in commas or things like that, please put that in an Authors Note. Moving on, the lines that need commas are "I’m in my own head", "The pages all red", "My mind slowly screams", "Nothing is as it seems", "My thoughts get clouded", "For all I’ve doubted", "I drink down my pain", "As my energy drains", "I’ll let go of the reigns", "Years of my life", "Struck down by a knife" and "My tears and my strife". Of course, you don't need to fix this if this was the style of the poem. Otherwise, the flow was good and I didn't notice any spelling mistakes or grammar.

Now, the meaning of the poem, from what I can tell, is that you/the narrator, feels like you are just kinda falling. Like either no one cares or that you are just stressed, stressed and more stressed. You feel like you spent a lot of your time doing useless things as well. But thats finally over, no?

Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! So, happy Valentines Day ! I really need to go now, Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Annnd I think he brought a dinosaur to life. Great. Anyways, Cheerio and fruit loops to you!

Hiya! Space here for a review!

Thank you for sharing this deep, and relatively personal poem about falling apart at the seams, giving up. The rhyming is very even, each stanza is the same length, so it's very consistent which I like. I, sadly, know what the topic of this feeling feels like, and you wrote it in a way where other readers/writers can understand what you're talking about and relate and/or understand.
The only suggestion I have is to maybe make some of the rhymes seem a bit less forced, but other then that you threaded words and feels together to make a short yet pretty poem. I enjoyed it!

Good job!

-Space the Snickerdoodle