The Watermelon

King Here

Hello,hello.
I see this work is reallyyyyyyy short, but I think it still deserves one short sweet review from me, even if it will not help the improvement of it at all.
But whatever it is, I love this work and the way it shows th happiness of a child, talking about a small watermelon,wanting it to see it grow, and then eat it, when it grows big enough to be eaten. It is really sweet and adorable, even if so short, which is unfortunate, because I would love to see this with a bit more details, or atleast one or two more stanzas? I do not know, only options. In the tittle, you had written 'watermellon', when it needs to be watermelon, but this is a double-hit mistake,we can all make it.
Nice idea. It is really fresh, which also,heh, reminds me of a watermelon. Good job!
Sorry for the very short review here.

Hi Dear Speakerskat!!

This Eros here to review another work of yours!!!

First of all let me tell you one thing that I love to eat watermelons. You have put an extra 'L' in the title--It has happened by mistake, I can understand it. I myself have made many such mistakes.

This is a cute and sweet poem. The stanza is about the germination of a seed to a small watermelon and now the watermelon will grow into a big one.

I think you can edit it. You can add a little more matter in it. I would love to read more stanzas in this poem. Like you can add something related to the growth of the small watermelon. I think you have probably written it when you were small almost 10 years old. It is really cute and nice to read a poem written by our friend when they were so small. It is really cute to read.

The idea and the theme is nice and sweet. It is as sweet and as juicy as a watermelon!

I agree with Ben. Also, you misspelled your title--you added an extra 'L'. You might want to fix your meter on the last line, and add a comma after 'watermelon'. This was an adorable poem besides those 3 things, and if it were a living thing, I would hug it. Really. It's that adorable.

--Deamy

Hey there!
If I'm honest when i first saw this poem and read the first two lines I though, "oh dear." However the way you've ended this poem makes the fact that it's so short amazing. The last two lines deliver that effect and impact every good poem should and I think that's why I ended up enjoying this. Very well done.
One nitpick i would have is that it's way too short to deliver any kind of message or any real feel of impact, so perhaps keep this but rewrite a new and longer version, no?
Keep up the writing!
Ben

Hi, there! This is cute. Made me think of watermelon, which I oh so very miss now that it's winter. Anyhoo...
I like this, for the most part. I'm just not a fan of small poems, and this one just...the last line just kind of throws me off since its shorter than all the rest. I wouldn't notice as much if it were a long poem, but it just stands out because of how short this is.
Nice, though.
Tata!
-Miss Mizz

Shouldn't you say in the beginning "how small the watermelon seed is right now?"
Because you don't plant a baby watermelon and it grown into a big watermelon.

I really like this. It's haiku-ish, but not, which makes it different.

I am a little confused by the end. Why is it alone? I don't get it. Also, was it alone its whole life, or was it surrounded by love in the beginning? I wonder... you leave me with so many questions.

Classy

Hello, there!

This is cute! I like this poem for the most part, but the third line, "Started with the garden plow" seems a little bit like it doesn't fit. I understand that this poem needs to rhyme, but maybe if you change it to something about a seed instead, it will be more in line with the "growing" sense of this poem.

Keep writing! Good job!

June

Cute and honest! Keep writing, I like it!

peace
~*~fairygirl~*~