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Forgettable Me

by speakerskat


If every work I ever write

contains a piece of me

these thousand tiny fragments

flow to eternity.

reading all these lines

oh so easily

without a second thought 

on what they mean to me.

when every piece is lost

just so peacefully

my soul will drift away

oh, forgettable me.


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Fri Feb 09, 2018 3:34 pm
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Kazumi wrote a review...



I kind of have an unfair advantage because I know the context of this poem better than everyone else, but whatever. I'll skip the basics about this being an alright poem, because that's boring, everyone's said that already, and I got meatier stuff to cover.

The parts that really got that really got me to drop a like on this one were lines 5-8. "reading all these lines / oh so easily / without a second thought / on what they mean to me." That resonates a lot with me.

Back when I was still writing flash fiction, I liked to instill some meaning behind everything. The tight word cap limited the leeway I had, so made do by assigning certain objects in the story to represent something that meant to me in real life. I would imagine that people would pick up the tiny little hints I'd drop, get a little intrigued, gather all the hidden bits and learn what this is really all about. I thought they would appreciate the story for all that it is worth.

I was wrong many times. I think I might have been wrong about that all the time. It frustrated me a lot how people didn't really get what I tried to express using the story, or what the entire story meant to me. I tried walking my audience through my thoughts on the stories, but that was kinda boring and unfulfilling.

Upon reading this poem, I realized that we are all blind to what stories mean to their respective authors. I think that's something we're all guilty of. I was amused by one review below that said this story was linked to a Christian belief, even though there aren't any references of that in here. Who knows, I might be guilty of that as well in the case of your poem.

I think the review system subtly conditions us to view works that are under it in a critical manner. Critique mode on: fix that grammatical error, smoothen the flow, sew up those plot inconsistencies, etc. It primes us to scrutinize and correct. If it's a pleasant read, then we'll just go on about why we liked it and what it meant to us (starting a sentence with "I like/I love" then stating the reason is a foolproof formula).

What I think we forget to consider in this process though is what this means to the writer themselves. The writer pulls out a piece of themselves -- be it an emotion, a pathos, a thought, an experience, or what-have-they -- and places it within the words of their work. Thus the work means much to them. You can't blame the viewers for not recognizing this, but it's just sad. It's like having a voice, but people aren't hearing your true message clearly.

The special thing you imbued your literature with goes unacknowledged. People don't see the work for all that it's worth. The special thing just remains your tiny little secret. Then it fades away into obscurity.

I think that's why this poem jives with me very well. It takes on a feeling that I believe many writers fear or struggle with. It's really resonant.

I hope this review got to your intended meaning very well. If not, I hope that it was at least interesting, entertaining, or eye-opening enough for you. I'm glad that I was able to inspire you into making this poem. Good luck in your future endeavors. Keep writing more dope literature like this one, 'cause it's cool.




speakerskat says...


Thank you for this, it means a lot to me.



Kazumi says...


No problem



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Fri Feb 09, 2018 2:00 pm
Charm says...



this is so good!




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Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:15 pm
Bellarke says...



I loved how this was set up. I liked how you needed it with the name of the poem. I have always had a thing for short poems. This was set up to perfection. You sour make another one, like a second one to this one because it was really good. Great job, @speakerskat!!!!



~LIZ




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Tue Feb 06, 2018 7:21 pm
lexihearn01 wrote a review...



just a tiny lil review from me :D

this is so meaningful to me personally. i feel like it could speak to both writers and artists alike. i think the only problem with this is the capitalization. it's difficult for me to read it while every line is capitalized. it makes me pause in between lines :P

I love that you can ACTUALLY display the reason that writers usually write. I write because I want to display my emotions and share those emotions with others. kind of like a "you're not alone" type of thing. i want my readers to feel like i'm their friend until the very end.

the second (sort of) stanza makes me very very sad. many readers often don't analyze what they're reading unless they're being forced to (and even then, they might not). when i was a tad bit younger, i used to just read books to be that nerd girl that reads all of the time, not to actually feel the emotions of the characters. luckily, now i feel that way about *almost* everything I read. I just think it's interesting that you state that people just read poetry (or really anything) without even thinking about the meaning of it.

I love the ending, it perfectly sums up this piece with a kapow!

that's all i've got for now, so i hope this helps you :)




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Tue Feb 06, 2018 1:47 pm
Spilledink wrote a review...



This is beautiful. It's small, quiet and peaceful. I think many other writers will relate to this poem, I certainly do! My favorite line is probably:

"If every work I ever write

Contains a piece of me"


It's beautiful, I don't know how to describe it enough. I don't have any spelling corrections or mistakes You could fix, it's just so well written even though it's a short piece. It's art, and should be treated as art. The poem is done in spacing so it's easy to read, the content of the poem is easy to read, but it's not like a cheap writing that anyone could read and wouldn't give a thought, it's simple but wonderful.

Keep up these amazing poems! I love them, okie byee.




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Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:08 pm
Radrook wrote a review...



Thanks for sharing this very profound insight concernig the ephemeral nature of existence. I like the flow, the rhyme scheme, the subject and the way that the poem says so much in so brief a time about such a deep subject. It has a dreamlike quality that enhances the mood which to me felt like resignation in the face of the inevitable. In short it has a soothing calming effect.

It does contain the theological belief that humans are spirits or souls encased in matter and which are liberated at death. Since not all Christians hold such a belief, not all readers will concur. Of course neither would atheists who think that once we die we are gone forever.

The soul is said to go about peacefully even though it knows that all its litterary efforts are to be totaly forgotten? That seemes to assume that the soul has a different personality from the person who fervently wrote all his poems and sought to be remembered by them.


suggestion:

Why would the poet read without caring what it means? After all, when we read, it is because we are interested in meaning.




speakerskat says...


I wasn't meant to be religious.



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Mon Feb 05, 2018 5:23 am
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AliceinBluue wrote a review...



Hello hello! Alice here for a quick review!

First up! What I enjoyed about your poem!

I really liked what you were talking about in your poem and the emotions you get across. You put yourself into every word you write, you give yourself completely to your art, but in the end it's all forgotten. People don't realize that what you write is so deeply personal to you and so they just don't understand. It's very melancholy feeling and it's so great. I love the fact that you talked about how it feels like your soul leaves you through your words that are dismissed. And you bemoan the fact that you're forgettable because of the fact that none of your words ever really land with people.

Now onto my critiques!

Like CorruptedArrow said, you do tend to overuse commas, when you break in the line it's a natural break in how it's read, so you don't need to add the comma in to add to the break. Personally, I prefer less punctuation in a poem unless it's absolutely needed, and all your commas don't really feel all that needed.

That's about it! I loved your poem and the idea that you are forgettable because your words are forgettable. Keep writing and keep being amazing!!!
-Alice




speakerskat says...


I always write with less punctuation but I was tired of hearing people only write reviews for me about my lack there of. Haha, I guess it back-fried.



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Mon Feb 05, 2018 4:24 am
CorruptedArrow wrote a review...



Hey Corrupted Arrow here with a review!
(The Comma Police is here! Anything I say here is just constructive criticism. If I offend you I apologize in advance.(I will try to be humorous.)

"If every work I ever write,
Contains a piece of me,
These thousand tiny fragments,
Flow to eternity." Okay, so the comma train has left the station at a brisk pace... There is no need for a comma after 'write' and 'fragment'.

"Reading all these lines,
Oh so easily,
Without a second thought,
On what they mean to me." There is no need for a comma after 'lines' and thought'.

"When every piece is lost,
Just so peacefully,
My soul will drift away,
Oh, forgettable me." There shouldn't be a comma after 'lost' and 'away'. Because if you replace the comma after 'away' with a period, I believe it would work great.

Keep up the writing, have a good day.




speakerskat says...


I always write with less punctuation but I was tired of hearing people only write reviews for me about my lack there of. Haha, I guess it back-fried.





Ya, it kinda did...
haha




Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
— Robert Brault