Silence & Sound

by speakerskat

Published May 26, 2017

E - Everyone

In poetry

There is no greater friend

to a poet in distress

than complete silence

broken in little intervals

that seem to disrupt thought

just enough

to spark inspirtaion.

Comments & reviews · 3
User avatar
alliyah
Review
alliyah wrote a review Review · May 29, 2017

Hello there,

this is a nice concise piece that I think would benefit from some larger metaphor and figurative language use. Inspiration is spelled wrong at the end. But overall good grammar and spelling! Just a bit more description and lengthening out these concepts would be a positive addition to the piece.

Best wishes in writing!

~alliyah

Jurelixranoanad wrote a review Review · May 26, 2017

Hi, J here for a review.
This was a great poem and I could see where you were going with it. It just needs to have more. If there was a little bit more lines with some deeper similarities and a better flow I could give it a more honest review. Try to add some lines and make the poem longer. Over all the poem was very good it had a great rhyme that was hardly ever distrubed.

Good Job and Keep Writing!!

User avatar
PrincessInk
Review
PrincessInk wrote a review Review · May 26, 2017

Hello again. I don't know how many of your poems I'm going to review, but I'm just cruising through.

I enjoyed this. I totally agree with the theme: Silence can definitely let the mind fester enough to provide motivation from the deepest layers of it. Reading this though, the poem has definitely charmed me--BUT I felt as though it wasn't executed particularly well.

The first two lines have a regular rhythm that I liked, but it began to fall apart with "complete silence". I was a little confused about the line "that seem to disrupt thought". Is it related to "complete silence" or the "little intervals"? A lack of punctuation may have contributed, and while I am NOT belittling such a style, I think that some clarity would be nice here.

Just as a thought experiment, you can try shifting line breaks, which I regularly do when I write poems. I just shift and move back and fuss till it looks alright--and then it later moves again XD. Adding a little imagery would be nice too, but the read was an enjoyable one anyway.

Good-bye (maybe for now). I hope this review helped!

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More than anything she wanted the world to be uncomplicated, for right and wrong to be as easily divided as the black and white sections of an Oreo. But the world was not a cookie.
— Roshani Chokshi, Aru Shah and the Tree of Wishes