Close to the Fire

by speakerskat

Published May 29, 2013

12+

In poetry

It's so strange,
Close to the fire
Not hidden,
But safe.

It's so strange,
How the flames play,
On your face,
Making it glow.

It's so strange,
How you sit there,
Inches from the heat,
Burning red.

It's so strange,
How you look so strong,
In control,
Yet still you.

It's so strange,
Something's different,
About you,
Close to the fire.

It's so strange,
I folllowed you,
Blindly,
Feeling safe.

It's so strange,
You ran away,
But forgot me,
Close to the fire.

It's so strange,
Said you'd protect me,
Tell me when to run,
But you left.

It wasn't so strange,
I knew when to go,
I know you,
You know me.
Comments & reviews · 6
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KrystaG
Review
KrystaG wrote a review Review · Jun 19, 2013

I like how the stanzas all start with "its so strange" until the last one. I like it because you sound like you are changing he topic, you could have gave more detail because reading this i got really confused. Is the fire an actual fire or is it a metaphor? If it is a metaphor, why did you use fire? Is there a personal story behind it? Other than that this is a really good poem. :*

ya it's real fire and ya there is a personal story behind it it could also be taken metephorically :P

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Rage
Review
Rage wrote a review Review · Jun 19, 2013

Hello, I know it's been awhile since you posted this but it's awesome and I still wanna review it.

Firstly, I gotta tell you about that opening line: "It's so strange." The way you use it to open every stanza makes it clear that the person who is close to the fire is doing something that is not normal, especially when contrasted against the last stanza where the relationship between the two persons is emphasised and we learn that this relationship IS NOT strange. Now, this brings me to the question, is the fire symbolic or metaphorical? And if so, what does it represent?

In my opinion, the fire may be representative of any activity that is dangerous or dark. The repetition of all the fire imagery reinforces the depth that this character has fallen to; by the end of the poem it seems as though he/she is completely engulfed in these flames, they surround him/her in every stanza of the poem. This repetition works and emphasises not only the character's position, but also the danger he/she may be in.

Now, the last stanza seems to be the most important because it underscores the relationship between the two individuals present in the poem. The fact that one would follow someone else to this metaphorical fire shows a strong relationship, and makes me think that ultimately, this poem may be also be regarded as one with a strong theme of love :-)
But that's just my opinion.

This is a great piece. Keep writing!

You are almost spot on with the idea behind this poem ;)

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deleted12
Comment
deleted12 commented Comment · Jun 6, 2013

You should be getting more comments for this awesome piece of poetry, Speakerskat..;)
It was a really good poem, you know! :D -Neon.

Aww, thanks neon. Ya this was one of those poems I really poured over

Aww, thanks neon. Ya this was one of those poems I really poured over

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dark
Review
dark wrote a review Review · May 30, 2013

Hmm, I really like the way that all stanzas start the same way. I really like that in poems. The poem is such an enigma. So many questions would have filled my mind if that was me, watching someone who's close to the fire. I'm sure if you were there you would probably have questions too, and you wrote this! It's great when poems of stories make you wonder what it would be like in your characters' situation. Thanks for writing this wonderful poem!
~Dark :D

That was me...I was there

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cj2344
Review
cj2344 wrote a review Review · May 30, 2013

Hi! Okay, I really liked this poem! It was so interesting how you communicated your story to the reader. Usually I don't like short stanzas, but I think you really made it work here!
The one thing that I really found interesting was the "it's so strange" in the beginning of every stanza. Usually, i would think it was too repetitive and I would tell you to change it but... I don't know... It works. I think (correct me if I'm wrong) that you were trying to convey to the reader just how strange it was. The absolute best part of this, for me at least, was how you changed it at the end... I mean I think it really carried your poem in a way that's difficult to describe.
Anyways...
Now, as remiss as I am to do so, I must critique...
I say this to everyone (even myself when I'm feeling schizophrenic), try to use some more descriptive language. Some really juicy words would make this piece almost perfect. Never underestimate the power that descriptions hold... putting a picture in the minds of your readers is one of the hardest, and most important aspects of writing...well anything.
Great poem, thanks for sharing!
Keep writing!

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deleted12
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deleted12 commented Comment · May 30, 2013

Hi Speakerskat!
Lemme start off by saying, ''GOOOD work!!'' *Big smiley* :D

The only thing that was..sort of....had a lot of was the, ''It's so strange''
That's probably obvious though, but that is the point. It's really obvious how much it was said! :) On purpose, I know...but still it kind of made the poem seem like you were reading the same thing over and over, you know? Like going in circles, right? :)

Although I did enjoy your poem and really liked all the stuff with fire! :D

(I do write the same thing over and over in my poems sometimes, such as in the latest one I posted)

Well, lemme end off by sayin', ''GOOOD work!!'' *Big smiley*
-Neon.(Mask)



how can i live laugh love in these conditions
— Orion42