Reaching down
eyes frozen tears
icy shard from
Deep
In
My
Side.
Or, imagination?
Cold death brought
upon both body
and mind.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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139,365 Literary Works • 672,540 Reviews
Good afternoon. In this review I will refer to imagery, and in the interest of ensuring that everyone who might read this review understands me fully, I will define imagery here: Imagery refers simply put to the use of descriptive "images" to plant a specific concept or scene in the reader's mind.
First of all, I would like to preface this review with a short discussion on poetry.
The poet does not need to justify the omitting of words. In fact, it is preferred that the poet offer little to no explanation at all, so that the reader can form their own conception of the poem and its content, form, and style. This is in reference to your small blurb about the piece. This is a small issue, and I only pointed it out for future reference. Now on to your poem!
It is so very difficult to review poetry, as it is often the writer's discretion to format their poem how they would like. In this case, I enjoyed your format.
When I read this, my mind immediately assumed this structure was chosen to a) enhance the notion of fragmentation, and b) give the impression of "deep", in the sense that each word lay lower than the one above it. Either way, it added to the piece.
In general, your form was straightforward and offered the fragmentation the title suggested.
In the next section, I will discuss imagery.
I see a few distinct images in this poem:
and
and
I choose these because, as I am inclined to believe you are aware, they all echo an image of coldness. This adds effectively to the unity of your poem. In this next section, I shall discuss grammar.
I found little grammatically awry in your poem, and for your benefit assumed structure was of concern, rather than correct punctuation. I do think it would look interesting for each word to be capitalized, but that is an opinion.
In summary, your poem summoned an image of coldness and fragmentation that I believe is central to the purpose of your piece. I would suggest playing around with your structure, and trying to include even more imagery. Remember that a poet's power lie in their ability to direct the reader, but also allow for interpretation and ambiguity. Ask yourself: If I were a reader of this poem, what questions might I ask myself?
Continue writing, and your talent will blossom. If you have any further questions, reply to this review or contact me privately. If you have any criticism pertaining to this review, I will answer your criticism. Trust me, I will not be offended - I am well aware of my flaws, and am always willing to change my review format.
Hello and good day to you
I came to review this, hopefully.
To begin with I liked your poem, it is really simple but with a lot of meaning behind it it seems. It kind of reminds me of a couple half-asleep hallucination attacks I've had where I thought I was being encased by ice and it was growing spikes and killing me... It was terrifying ._.
But you wrote this well, and I happen to really like the style you used where you have single word lines. The only things I would mention are; in most of your lines you start with a capitol, but then some you don't. You need to go one way or the other, capitalize the first letter of every line, or don't do it at all.
Well thank you for your time and have a great day.
It's actually also a stylistic choice.
That makes sense, most authors use either all caps or not at all for consistency and so your mix threw me off a little. But if it is a stylistic choice, then by all means leave it alone!
Hello!
How can I review this poem? I believe you are an expert author as whatever you've written is just so spontaneous.I feel you've have written down the emotions, at least tried to do so.
But I suppose you've penned a mix of emotions, just one suggestion you have a lot of scope of improvement in this particular genre of poetry where you write what you feel. You need to work on expressing even the strangest emotions in an effective and convincing way. In a relatable way, i suppose.
Well, I find my self too dumb for reviewing your poem but I think if you get some idea it's always good..
LOves..