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Just a few things:
Grammar:
You need a space between each and other in the third stanza.
Really only has two L's..looks like a typo.
Flow:
So your last two stanzas hae a set rhyme scheme, but the first one does not. All poems don't have to rhyme, but if you do, try to be consistant.
Also, I think that you could remove "I know" in the second stanza to help with the flow being smoother. Also maybe remove "open and" in that same stanza.
Content:
I like the comparision and for it to be off the cuff after a test, its really not to shabby. The only line I had a problem with was the "Our arms stretched to the sky", it's a line I've heard dozens of times. Then again, one cliche line isn't going to kill your poem.
Keep working with it, good luck and keep writing!
~Kay
Heehee, hey it's me. x) Um it was a little weird 'cause in stanza one you never rhymed! :O. But who am I to talk? Haha. My rhyme scheme is always a little off, but this was a cute poem reminded me of the song by One Republic. I did like though how just a simple pencil was giving a bit of meaning. I do suggest a little bit of suggestion, y'know to clear things up.
I don't know whether you're talking to your pencil or a person. I'd make that clear. Also, the rhyming is a bit forced and not very good. Sorry. I don't really understand what is going on in the poem, is it a love poem? are we just happy? But it's an intriguing concept and I think you should continue to pursue it. Keep writing!
ya it isn't one of my better ones...the test was really long so I think it killed my brain lol XD
I really have no idea if I was talking to my pencile or not.....good question
Hey Speakerskat! Gret poem I love it
it flowed nicely and had great use of adjectives. I'm sure this was just a typo but each other has a space
. What would really make this poem come alive is if you added a few examples of figurative language. Anyway great poem and I hope to see more soon.
~MindBlown