Too bad you weren't here six months ago
Six months ago, when it all came down
You up and left six months ago
Our child died, six months ago
Six
Months
Ago
Was it my fault?
Was it really anyone's fault?
I suppose no one else
Slit my wrists
Drowned in alcohol
Cried until literal death
Except me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,008 Literary Works • 672,814 Reviews
I am usualy picky about punctuation and all these jazz, as you may had noticed already, by my other reviews. But actually, i really like this work at it is, in this current state, in the way you had left it be without the eidts everyone had suggested you to do.
I think was long enough and fulfil my needs and expectations. It is really sad,but not in the bad way, if you understand me. I do not want to look like I do spam reviews, or something like that, I just can not continue saying useless things to make this review longer, because this will not help anyone. I was confused at the start, but I think this is the character speaking there ( I hope I did not get it wrong! ). Anyways, sorry the short review again, when I find someone, who writes amazing things, I just can not handle it, I just need to say about the works, because they deserve it.
KEEP ON WRITING! *said by my selfish and lazy self*
I have to say it was very good. But kind of depressing. And very morbid. Also kinda short. And you need more periods and comas. But I can't exactly tell who it's mainly about. Like is it about the person telling the story or is it someone from the story. If you can fix these mistakes, I can believe that ur posts in the future will be amazing. But besides that, 100% loved it. Very good. Hope for better posts in the future.
Sorry not sorry but I'm going to tear you apart. Better posts? I've been writing for over 6 years and at least I know that you don't need to fill a poem with crap tons of punctuation like you suggested. Please keep your reviews and comments positive and don't assume people flipping suck. Thanks for the review.
I really like the poem speakerskat. The only few critiques that I have is that I had trouble telling if this was telling about another person, or about the narrator. I also had troubles following the poem for the rhythm and for the beat to it. Those were the only inconsistencies that i found, other than that Spectacular Job!
~PoeticCowboy
O_O. Hi ^.^ I am Soulfulwriter.
Review: Very chilling, the last few parts of it was.
Personal opinion: I don't know what it is like to be a single mother. But, I am being raised by one. It's hard and everything sometimes seems to go another direction from the one you want to take. Some people don't want to help you while other people look down on you as if it is your fault you are a single mother. Psh, nazi bastards....err....yeah. Though my mom did everything by herself sort of, as a child I tried to help every way I could. Lol with buying food, I would offer my mom the penny I found on the ground. I tried to clean her room once -shudders.- never again, so many clothes and paperwork. I think I tripped over her shoes and almost knocked myself out.
All in all, it's not easy.
Keep writing the right way.