Eye no this, will drive ewe nuts
But just here mi out ?
~
When we first, met
it was as though the
Hole world finally
Made since ;:
~
No thing was the same
From there on out, ewe ,
Swept mi of my feet
And BLUE my mind ;
~
Eye new right than
eye had found some one special
My dashing. artist lover
Eye was afraid of letting go.
~
Eye want ewe to sea
im the best at loving/ ewe
and eye need ewe
like the ocean needs the moon.
~
(I love you)
This was mint too bee
Sow: I hope you'll forgive
My horrible righting skillz.
Sorry Babe, you're just too cute when you're correcting me.
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139,005 Literary Works • 672,397 Reviews
I know that this is a little late but... you make me sick. Never do this again to my poor, poor eyes. I don't think I could handle something as horrid as this again, not in 1000 years. My stomach is knotting up as I write this and I don't know if I'll make it to see another day.
Love you too XD you're the only person who I'm actually okay with saying that.
ya goof
Hey there, speakerskat. Time for a serious review.
Content wise, I have no issues with this. I think it's endearing that you wrote this for your boyfriend as a joke, and I love when people write poems (even silly ones) for their loved ones.
Instead, I want to talk about your "preview". I know you didn't mean it that way, but it made me feel like you were disregarding the problems that people suffering from OCD face every day. OCD, contrary to the public belief, is not just about wanting things to be organized. It's characterized by intrusive thoughts (like imagining yourself murdering someone), and compulsions (which range from having to flick a light on and off to germaphobia to hypochondria). People with OCD have to deal with more than enough every day without the public marginalizing their illness like this.
Now, I'm not sure what your personal experience with OCD is. But if you want to know more about this, there are plenty of resources online, as well as this spoken-word poem: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnKZ4pdSU-s.
Let me know if you have any more questions, and I apologize if I offended you. Don't forget to be awesome!
IronSpark
I know very well what OCD is and OCPD . I didn't want anyone being bothered by what I wrote because I know for some people this might seriously drive them nuts in a bad way . I am offended that you thought I was using it in any manner other than seriousness .
Also , don't write a review just to get points . Write a serious review about my work or don't write one at all . You could have private messaged me .
(1) I don't think this is any cause for offense. Why did you include "OCD" in the preview if you know that that's not a symptom of OCD? I mean, compulsions vary on the person, and some people have different triggers, but being triggered by poor grammar is actually not an OCD trait.
(2) Hey, sorry 'bout that. I hit "review" as a habit.
Also, (2) I've messaged a moderator about it, and they should change it for me.
Also, (2) I've messaged a moderator about it, and they should change it for me.
Also, (2) I've messaged a moderator about it, and they should change it for me.
Also, (2) I've messaged a moderator about it, and they should change it for me.
^ Apparently, they've got to help me with that, too. Sorry!
For some people it is
Are you implying that it is for you? Or for a loved one? I would be happy to prove that this is more common in other disorders--like Social Pragmatic Disorder, for instance. If it /is/ a trigger for you or a loved one, though, I wouldn't make light of it. But that's your choice.
Please just stop :/ really
Hi!
So even though I'm definitely part of the grammar police (I know it's a problem XD), I really liked this poem! I think it's really funny and a bit challenging to read, and it gives off a bit of a defying feeling.
The only thing that you might want to change are the "eyes" and "ewes" because those are a bit difficult to translate, also because they are very similar. Maybe you can try changing "eye" to "aye" or something like that? And for "ewes" maybe just stick with "u."
Also, maybe you can change some of the other words to make them worse? Like "afraid" to "afrayed" or "the" to "da?"
Anyways, great poem! I loved it a lot! And I think it's really cute for you to make it for your boyfriend! Can't wait to read more of your work!
-blablabl92
Haha thanks I considered that but , as far as I know ( and it's really hard to "mistake check" a poem like this ) none of my spellings were incorrect ... They were just entirely different words ie: bee verses be . I tried to keep that consistent so it wasn't too crazy ! I appreciate your review
LOL!
This is real cute and hilarious. At first, I thought that these were accidental mistakes, but now I see it. It is a letter, right? Now that you mention it, I would want to date a grammar police. I do love my grammar!
Great job. Keep writing!
This is hilarious and adorable and AHHHHHHH... but I was definitely confused at first, and a little angry. But anyway! You kept up well with the horrible... just... horrible... grammar, until "like the ocean needs the moon." So... therefore. Make it look bad, yah?
But this was hilarious, creative, and really cute! It was a pretty good idea, actually.
I hope to read more of your work.
-xJ
Hey, this is hilarious and awesome and I love it
I've just got one suggestion.
). For example, this stanza took me a few minutes to wrap my head around and broke the flow of the poem.
I get that the whole point was to make this grammatically incorrect and to have bad spelling and punctuation (and whatever else done intentionally wrong), but the ewe's in replacement of you's get really hard to translate. I would suggest changing them to u's, just to make it more readable (and it's still the wrong spelling
Besides that, great, fun, poem
albeit made less fun by the constant feeling of wanting to bang my head against the screen. I especially loved the last line--it made me smile. I felt like that line really wrapped up how much the narrator loved their significant other. (I don't know how to explain it, exactly, but it just did xP.)Overall rating: 9/10
Keep writing!
+1
All these likes ... Wow
My left eyelid is twitching violently and I can't stop it. XD Before I collapse groaning on the ground, I want to let you know you did a brilliant job on the poem! It's really sweet.
Thanks XD and thanks to everyone for all the likes this is awesome
Lol, I like the last line, makes me think the protagonist deliberately makes mistakes.
She does :3
Ooh, so sly. :3
Wow! If someone was actually going to review this and mention every grammar mistake in this... well... they would have been here a while.
Made me laugh though!
~
So many grammar mistakes, I can't even.....
Haha. You made me want to rip my hair out. Well done for that! xD