Why do I even try?

I liked:

"Other times the pen falls/And I just freeze in time"

It created a picture in my mind of a pen falling in slow motion, and "Why do I even try?" echoed in the background.

And:

"Much like my tears upon/This dreadful poem"

I couldn't quite picture the previous metaphor, because I didn't know how the face of existance looked like, but in connection with these two lines, it made more sense

One thing I would improve on, would be to make the opening of the poem a bit more clear. You know how it says: "My fingers drag across the page"? Yes, but when in the next line you say: "Scraping out scribbles" ...Well, do you really scrape out scribbles with your fingers, or rather with your pen? Later in the poem it becomes obvious that it must be a pen you're talking about, but at the very beginning the reader has no clue, because no pen is yet mentioned. Just look out for that

You might want to revise your poem a bit, and tweak a phrase here and there, but all in all, I think you did a good job getting your feelings across

I love this. I feel it. I see the color and sense the pain and the hopelessness and want to reach out in compassion. It has texture. I want to read and re-read. Thank you for your words.

Hi there! DeepRoses here for a lil review for you.

First off, when I first read this, I had nothing negative to say about it and I still don't really. I really like this poem. The title grabbed my attention and it fit with what the poem was about. The style was nice, and it didn't need stanzas or grammar like most poems need to look good. This poem looks nice on its own. The word choice was lovely and made reading it even more enjoyable. Every writer struggles with the feeling of stress and wanting to give up on their work, they think it isn't good enough or isn't worth publishing. The message sent across this was beautiful and relatable to MOST people on this site.

Only 1 thing I would critique is the very last line saying "Why do I even try?" I would personally italicize it to add stress onto it, since it is the title of the poem after all.

In conclusion, this poem was wonderful and great as it was. Good job! Have a good day and keep up the good work.

Reality is the essence of this poem and in its simplicity lies the beauty. The phrases, 'scrapping out scribbles', 'freeze in time', 'silly little mess splattered' accentuate the effect of the poem without losing the simplicity.

I understand that contraction to one's self and the self-depreciation aspects are necessary but most of the time, it happens that these particular aspects diminish the interest of the reader. The balance which is necessary to make the poem truly beautiful is missing and that happens to be one of the glaring negative points.

The beginning was good but the message was lost somewhere along the journey. But overall, I could easily agree that this is an appreciable effort.

~Tony

Oh my gods!
This poem is so amazing. I actually relate to it alot, since I have a ton of poems i don't publish because i don't think they are good enough. I also think you adequately explained the feeling . You didn't try to use excessive wording for the poem, which is nice. Usually a lot of poems go overboard with the wording and make it seem super advanced and a bit annoying to read, but this was a joy. However I really do think it would be a bit better if you wrote a bit more. Though I usually like shorter poems, I feel like this was too short for me. The ending left me wanting more. Which could be the intended effect, in which case, good job!
Really tho.
I love the poem

~Lucy