Free Free birds on a Tree

Radrook here once more to provide feedback in order to help others improve their writing. Please note that I try my best to help and not offend. However, if I do, then you have my sincerest apologies beforehand. Typos are often due to my lazy eye which causes me to see two keyboards. That having been said. here goes.

Thanks for sharing this short delightful poem about birds and the free songs that they might provide us with. You have certainly managed to convey the pleasure that might be derived from hearing birds sing. Their songs can certainly be pleasant. In fact, they have served as inspiration for musical compositions such as Pajaro Campana which is usually played on the guitar and on the harp. Classical music has also taken snatches of bird songs and included them in delightfully pleasing ways.

As a reader with certain experiences where birds have proven to have been very annoying I couldn't quite share the same level of enthusiasm. However, I do understand it and appreciate the beauty with which this poem expresses it.

There is also the message in the poem that many of life’s pleasures , such as a beautiful sunset, the blueness of the sky, a starry night, the colors of a rainbow, a field filled with flowers, a majestic mountain-range, are all free.

Thanks for sharing and looking forward to reading more of your work.

Suggestion:

Perhaps mentioning an exact species of bird might have provided the poem with specific visual imagery for the reader to visualize. For example, Robins would grace the poem with red. The species of tree could also be mentioned. Example, cherry blossom tree, willow tree. Also please keep in mind that using ""no” instead of “any” elicits certain images of the person who is speaking.

For one, it indicates social class and educational level. Does the poet really want to convey the speaker that way? Is it needed in the poem? I personally would use “any” in order to avoid that distraction and keep the poem focused on the birds.

This was a cute poem . Very short sweet and to the point. I loved that you did indclude that your little sister helped make it very sweet. I loved it




~MindBlown

Great job....i love it...its beautiful!

This was nice, simple and beautifuly done all at the same time Brava to you!

Ciao,
Kally

This is really cute! You did a great job speakerskat! It's innocent and sweet. Those lucky birds. I wish I could fly.

peace
~*~fairygirl~*~