I like you.
-
I like you as you are now,
or will be,
I like everything about you,
I like that you're not afraid to put your foot down,
I like that you have no trouble saying what's on your mind,
I like what you stand for
I like you,
everything that is you,
not just you as a person,
-
You as an entire being.
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139,521 Literary Works • 672,596 Reviews
Hey! It's Cello!
I get that this isn't your poem and you can't change thing but I hope you can pass this on to the author.
I enjoyed this poem to be honest. It was short and cute and sweet. I feel the the punctuation was off though.
You have a pretty constant pattern with a comma after every line. If you want to keep it like this you need to ass a comma after 'I like what you stand for'
Now, I wouldn't suggest keeping this pattern that you have. I think a few periods would do this poem good. I mean, it's very matter of fact. 'I like you." There's nothing more to it. You like them. It's simple. Then, when you're listing things, keep the commas. Maybe even throw in a few 'and's. Those are always surprisingly nice in poetry.
Another thing, you use '-' to break lines twice in here which forces the reader to pause. I'm not sure if this is only used for YWS or if it is used in the original. If it's in the original, I would remove it. If it's for YWS I would replace the '-'s with a few spaces. Those tend to hold for me. If that doesn't work, I know there's a command to use but I'm honestly not sure what it is. Maybe ask a mod.
I would also like to suggest that the writer of this goes through the poem and works to enrich the language. Like I said, this poem is very simple. With a simple work, it's good to have stronger words.
Maybe try something like 'I like that you never hesitate to express your thoughts'. (That's a lousy example, sorry, but it's the best I have for now. I hope it still gives you and idea of what I'm saying)
I hope this review helped the author improve a bit. Keep up the good work!
-ChocolateCello
Hey!
I don't think i can give you any tips on this poem as it is about being imperfectly perfect. So, is this poem: imperfectly perfect.
But it sounds as a monologue rather than a poem. It doesn't have any characteristic of a poem except that the author calls it a poem. No offense but work on writing. Having good ideas is not enough, you need to display they in such a way that others find it interesting, worthy and they agree with it!
Hope i could help you out somehow..
Keep writing ...keep improving..
It was just a text I got from someone that they wanted me to put in poem format and post. I resent that slightly as I have personally written some poems I am very very proud of and have been writing almost my whole life. I even said this isn't mine.
I am going to review your poem.
Your poem needs to be in complete sentences cause they do tend to just break off. I can tell you really like the person who you wrote about in this poem. The more I read it the more I understand it from your point of view and that's a good thing. The poem makes sense when u don't think about anyone else and focus on the lines itself.
Ok well I personally like the poem and your profile picture (nice picture of mudkip cuddling with a pokeball by the way).
Thank you for letting me review your poem
It is not mine and I write much better than this, it's just something a friend of mine wanted me to put up and I thought it was nice. But thanks
make it in sentences that flow. Lines just break it up
I am not at liberty to alter this piece as it is not mine but thank you for the suggestion I agree whole heartedly as well, I would not have written it like this but I thought it was quaint reguardless. It wasn't initially a poem I just threw it up there in that format.