Young Writers Society

I'm not usually one for romantic poetry, but this was cute and simple. I think you did just one type, where you wrote 'herart' instead of 'heart'. That's easy to fix.


So anyway, nice work! And I can't cut paper hearts either, BTW. It's just so frustrating.....I can cut diamonds, triangles, squares, but not hearts.

I like your work! Keep it up.

Mysticalxx

Hey, speakerskat!

What a nice poem you have here. Before I say what's good about it, I would like to clear out all the nitpicks.

Everytime I cut a herart,
I see you in my mind,

Everytime I cut a heart,
I know that it is true,
Because no shape can show,
How much I love you.

Hello!

This is a very cute poem. It was a joy to read.

I know other people have already pointed it out, but there is a typo on the 5th line.

I like the simplicity of this poem. I don't have much to say.

Another thing I noticed was the syllable count.
Right now, it's:
7
6
6
6
7
6
8
7
7
6
6
5


All of the seven syllable lines (except) one says: "Everytime I cut a heart"

There are two lines that stood out from the syllabic rhythm:

I didn't realize until now,

How love is really defined.

Gah! This is such a lovely poem, cute and romantic. I don’t know much about poetry, but I can definitely feel the speaker’s love for their significant other. But, I feel that he/she’s, perhaps, struggling to confess or don’t talk about their feelings often. This poem also shows me that the meaning of love is different for everyone. For the speaker, love’s . . . imperfect. This is implied through “can’t quite get it right”. It’s sweet to see that the speaker’s reminded of their love through little things like cutting paper hearts.

Truly a fabulous piece!

I noticed a minor error in Line 5. You misspelled “heart” as “herart”. Just fix it and it’ll be perfect!

Well done, and keep writing!

Hi Kat!!!!!
Its Eros here!!!!!

Paper hearts is really a lovely poem.Its all a compaison between between a surgeon who cuts open heart and a serial killer.It expresses love in a really different way. I have so many unique poems but this one was very very unique.You have written it in a very romantic manner.

There is a correction in one of the lines.....in the fifth line --the word "herart"--I think it should be "heart"

But I really loved your poem.It was vey beautifully written and contains all the emotions and a beautiful in-depth meaning.It is a deep poem and I drowned into the depthness of poem when I was reading it!

All the best!
Continue writing.....
I love reading your poems and stuff
Keep writing dear Kat!

:~Eros

Well, it certainly isn't a 'bad' poem...but it isn't entirely good, either. The primary tone that you were probably trying for was maybe...angry, or something of the sort. Of course, poetry doesn't come across as angry very easily, and can turn sappy rather fast. This, sadly, is another case of that. I can tell that some effort was put in, though.

I know this is kind of an old thing for me to review. You posted this to be reviewed a while ago and I'm just getting around to it obscenely late, but better late than never some say, so here I am.

The repetition in this poem is not of creative design by a stylistic choice, so I'd probably cut it out. It's too consistent to make the poem much more than a nursery rhyme. While the idea of "Every time I cut a heart" is an interesting open to a poem, as it makes us wonder if this person is a surgeon for a second (if we ignore the title before reading the poem [a habit a poetry teacher encouraged sometimes]) or a serial killer, it only really draws us in. After that the poem breaks down into a rhythmic beat that really gets redundant and it takes more than four three new lines to create a lack of connection and recognition. The line isn't good enough on it's own to merit saying it three times in the poem, especially not twice in one stanza [which I am going to assume is a typographical error judging by the structure markers].

The first couplet is alright. It is interesting, it draws us in, it explores a deeper meaning if we sit to peruse it for a while. "Every time I cut a heart/I can't quite get it right." (edits for sentence structure's reality) What could this possibly mean? Every time they try to create love? to fester a relationship? to explore the deeper connection between two people? Are they a super bad heart surgeon? Maybe a medic in training?
This makes us ask questions, to explore. The next two lines are rather useless though. It puts in context of time, sure, and explains how it comes out wrong, but at the same time the lines are very vague and telly. If you have someone trying hard at something, shouldn't you show them having a hard time? Maybe a room littered with paper hearts that are just crumpled and mangled? Why are you telling us this like your narrator is trying to convince themselves of it? They don't seem like they try hard enough because they can describe it as 'tried so hard' which basically means, 'harder than ever before' which means they were not putting in consistently hard effort at succeeding. What could possibly make tonight special?

You don't go over it in the poem either. The second stanza has a typo in heart, which tells me you really did re-type the line three times. A good effort to create a poem that utilizes a refrain, but like in songs, you don't start with the refrain and it has to mean something new at the end. There are many ways to use refrains. Some are like the Villanelle where it is an echo of the past, other times the entire poem is composed of refrains from the last line. The refrain's power comes from it's ability to make you think. You have a good refrain here, but you move it wrong. Instead of putting it at the beginning of each stanza after the first stanza, you should shuffle it around and see where it leaves the biggest impression, see how you can construct a poem to lead up to "every time I cut a heart" at the end. That is going to be a lot more dramatic, even if it isn't more loving.

I think my other marks of criticism on this are mostly because it's a love poem. The language is dry, and really just full of excuses poets are supposed to be able to overcome. Just buying into the notion that you cannot define love is kind of like copping out of the greatest challenge in the world. It's more fun to try new analogies to draw out another aspect of love than to say "No shape can show it" "it is unimaginable" or any of the other nonsense things that normal people say. We have the right to call love a flailing, flaming pile of fecal matter on the stoops of our social lives, why not use it?

Hello! Here as requested.

Okay, so first off, this was really cute. I like how you used the comparison of their love and paper hearts, how cutting a heart out could never show how much the narrator loves the person in question.

Second, I personally didn't like the repetition of "Everytime I cut a heart." Mostly because I feel that you could do better to show that she's (I'm assuming the narrator is a she) cutting out a paper heart. I suggest you show us how she cuts out a heart, instead of telling us she's doing it. Describe how one side of the heart is wider or narrower than the other, or how she accidentally tears it, or etc. Use imagery to your advantage, because I felt that this was lacking with sensory details.

Other than that, I enjoyed this very much. It was short, simple, sweet, to the point, and delivered a cute message. It was beautifully written and while it could be improved, I think it's still nicely done. Flow was steady for the most part, with a bit f choppiness here and there, but for the most part, it flowed nicely. I'm super glad that your rhyme scheme felt natural, as opposed to forced and awkward. Overall, it was a pleasure to read.

I adore this. So, so much. No criticisms. Nothing. Just. Five stars of five. Beautiful.

Wow, I adore this poem. Only one little spelling error. Witch it took me three times reading to even notice it. On the fifth line you say "Everytime I cut a herart," there is the extra r. Other than that I can't see anything else possibly wrong. I love the poem. Describes love perfectly and makes me think twice about a heart now. Love the way it flows. Can't wait to read more!

I really love this. It shows that love isn't always perfect, and that even though it cannot be confined to one shape, it is still true. I can kind of relate (I can never cut perfect hearts either) but I've never loved someone in the way that you described. Despite that, you made me able to feel that kind of emotion. That is true poetry! I normally write/read dark poetry, so it is really nice to see something sweet but still meaningful. As far as structure goes, it flowed really well and the rhymes didn't seem forced at all. Great job!
-Bellator

This is honestly my favorite poem by you. Showing how any heart you cut isnt right, but you still know how to love. This poem would, in my opinion, make any guy nuts over you if you gave it to them. Wor like this more on more upbeat things such as this. It makes me happy to see you work on happy things like this.