Young Writers Society

Hello there!

I don't know much about the structure or rules of poetry, so I will restrict myself to commenting on the feel.

I absolutely loved this poem. I think your choice of a shooting star as a representation of love was perfect. The love you describe sounds to me like a burning, ethereal and ephemeral passion, just as a shooting star is a burning mass streaking across the sky momentarily, giving us the chance to experience its ephemeral beauty. Love is often like that. And you have captured that feeling perfectly.

A shooting star leaves nothing but darkness in its wake. Just as a lost love, a once burning passion that fizzled out leaves nothing but heartache and longing in its wake.

Absolutely loved it.

Do write more and more.

Lovely rhyme and cadence in this poem Radrook. It's short but bittersweet with those last two lines and clear to follow. You used elevated language making the poem sound elegant but not archaic. This I believe is one of my favorites of yours!

My only critique is I wish there was one more stanza to dig into that conflict a bit more; what made their love expire, would love just a few details to latch on to. Though I think your star imagery is quite beautifully written.

Salutations @Radrook, Lives is here for yet another review.
I hope I don't offend n anyone with my review, that is not my intent. My intent is to edify and encourage other writers through constructive criticism.
Like @Sree I love to read your works, and I also enjoyed your hello poem. I really like how you used a shooting star as the beginning of your poem and how it causes pain. Usually shooting stars are used in a more happy way, and that's what makes your poem unique. You show shooting stars in a different view than the average writer and that's very cool. Your title is good and goes with the poem. I can't wait to read your next poem.

This poem is so beautiful.
I love everything that is written about stars but this is good to another level. I could feel the pain and longing as i scrolled down.
The title seemed a bit abstract. But you have great content.
Keep writing. Wishing you lot of prosperity.

This poem is so beautiful.
I love everything that is written about stars but this is good to another level. I could feel the pain and longing as i scrolled down.
The title seemed a bit abstract. But you have great content.
Its lit.

WOW! I love this poem. I am breaking my head to get a rhyme-scheme like this.

I feel the pain in your poem, I liked how you compared the fall of the star with the expire of love.

It is quite a imagery!!

It is realistic,man, I adore your works!


"It sped away into the night

and soon had disappeared

and left me standing full of fright

exactly as I’d feared.

And there was neither afterglow

nor traces of its sound.

It only served to let me know

that you are not around."


Perfect lines to deliver the pain. The last four lines of the poem gave me a heavy heart.
I just don't know what to say, The rhyme-scheme and the words of your poem were remarkable.

These lines just wow:

"It twinkled swiftly from afar

as it went streaking by,

and forced me to remember how

our love so quick expired."

Great observation coherently relates to your wonderful imagination.

Great job per usual.

I read your poem starting with "hello" just now, it was remarkable. I liked it

Thanks for sharing your amazing works, It gets me inspired.