Amidst assembled throngs I long to be
With those whose hearts are purer than the snow
Whose minds and tongues delight in praising thee.
Whose eyes reflect your holy spirit’s glow.
That multitude whose raiment shimmers white
Who spotless walk within your righteous ways
Not veering cowardly to left or right
With such as these I always want to stay.
With those whose hopes caress your every word
Those guided by your bright prophetic light
Whose thoughts consider evil as absurd
All those who stand erect before your sight.
Not tottering or reeling from the foe
But solid-grounded in integrity
Who fish for men and reap as well as sow
These are the ones with whom I want to be.
And kneel among them when their work is through
Before your throne as they are praising you.
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BTW
This was written very long ago and I just recently found it.
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Thanks for the review. Glad to know that you appreciate spiritual things in relation to the Bible..
Hey, AJ here for a review!
Oh my word, I love this poem! Revelation has always been my favorite book of the Bible, and this poem really speaks to me. Looking ahead to the day when I will stand before God and finally see Him is so encouraging. Thanks for sharing this! I have a few critiques for flow and grammar:
- "With those whose hearts are purer than the snow" I would take out "the". It sounds awkward in this line.
- "Whose eyes reflect your holy spirit’s glow." I always like to capitalize "Holy Spirit", but that's up to you
- "Not veering cowardly to left nor right" I think "or" might sound better
- "With such as these I always want to stay." This line is awkward. Maybe take out the always, at least, or reword it. The inverted sentence order doesn't flow very well
- "Not tottering or reeling from the foe / But solid-grounded in integrity" Ooh, I love these lines!
- "And kneel among them when there work is through" Should be "their"
Overall, I think this is a wonderful poem. I'm sure it's not quite up to par for you, since you wrote it a while ago, but it really is very good! If you plan to clean it up a bit, I think it will be fantastic.
Keep on writing, and Happy Review Day!
-AJ
Thanks for the feedback, encouragement and suggestions.
Hmmm, more Christian themes on the sites. I love it mate! Keep it up!
Thanks for the feedback. Much appreciated.