Hello?
Is anybody out there?
Can anyone hear me?
Does anyone even know I’m here?
Does anyone even care?
-
This is unfair!
Why me?
-
Hello?
Anybody!
If you cannot talk, grunt!
If you cannot grunt, then groan.
Just make the silence cease!
Don’t leave me here alone!
Please!
-
Hello?
Is that an echo I hear?
Please break the silence I fear
which makes my future stare
and cautions me to beware.
-
Hello?
Is that you approaching?
Cautiously encroaching with every stride
as if you know where I hide
and will soon be reproaching?
-
“Hello?
Is anybody still alive?
Does anyone still dare to crie out:
Hello!?
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140,385 Literary Works • 673,140 Reviews
Hello to you, Radrook!
And thanks for sharing this haunting little poem. I enjoyed it, for the most part. The rhymes didn't feel forced, and everything seemed to flow along rather nicely.
The speaker seems to be a rather fearful person, and is apparently trapped somewhere, calling out for someone to help him, someone to hear him. Yet the second to last stanza he says "as if you know where I hide", which gives the impression that he put himself into this place - as if he's hiding from this approaching danger. That kind of puzzles me.
There's definitely a hint at something dangerous afoot, though, and that ending stanza with the question "Is anybody still alive?" adds to the drama. (I do believe that crie is spelled "cry", though, in that following line. :p)
Looking back over this, I'm still not sure how I feel about that second short little stanza. It seems a bit out of place after all the repetition in each stanza, but it also makes me wonder how this poem would read if you inserted another short little stanza after maybe the third or fourth stanza.
That's all I got for now.
Happy Review Day!
~rosette
Hello there, Radrook !
Eros here with a review for this wonderful poem of yours !
It is such a raealistic theme !
Basically the poem revolved around solitude and loneliness. The feelings and the thoughts that a lonely person must have.
The stanza,
This stanza shows how much the silence hurts to a lonely person. The person is begging to hear something and pleading to please come and talk something to me. The silence must be hurting so much. I can imagine the situation here.
Then ...
Here lies the spice of the poem. You have added rhyming scheme here and that too without disturbing the meaning of the whole poem. I loved this part the most. Adding a rhyming scheme is really a tough job. I am glad you did this so beautifully !
The flow of the poem is smooth. There are stanzas that helps us to imagine what all is going on. The stanzas are not just added, but are also added in such a way----- that the thoughts and ideas connect all of them very smoothly.
The theme is unique, about solitude as I mentioned before also. It was a deep poem, full of emotions.
The language is really easy to understand...and I loved the whole poem.
Great job !!
Amazing work !!
Keep writing such awesome poetries and other stuff and we will keep reading and reviewing them !
Have a great day / night !
~Eros.
Thanks for the review and the encouraging words. Good to know you like the poem.