Young Writers Society

That was a really good one. The poem succeeded in explaining what it was about and was beautiful to read. It was easily understandable and relatable as well. What I liked the most was the remarkable simplicity of the poem that really impressed me.

The form of the poem was wonderful. It was well-formed.

These were my favorite lines-

"In my eyes no time has trodden

In my eyes no age has seared.

In my eyes you are a goddess

as the day you first appeared"

SUGGESTIONS- The poem was complete in itself, however, I have some suggestions. You should have added commas(,) after the phrase "In my eyes" in some places. For example-

"In my eyes[,] you are a goddess"

In the very first paragraph itself you got me intrigued, I liked the line where you related the reflection to a bright star.The metaphors were great.Your last stanza left me in horripulated. Great work

The beauty of this poem is rivalled by but a few. The descriptions were fluid, the rhymes were spot on with the poems's rhythm and your diction was superb.

Minor issues:

Your style changed towards the end of the poem. Instead of only using "In my" to start your stanzas, you used it more frequently inside each. This kind of caused an imbalance in the mood as I read on, but I got over it.

I noticed that you used capitalization for the beginning of some lines. This definitely messed with me because at some points you had periods before you capitalized and that was fine, but then it happened without capitalization after that so I was confused for a second or two. But this is just me being nitpicky.

That's it for errors and I hope I didn't seem offensive. I have to say, marvellous work done here.

My favorite lines:

Vibrant as a summer flower,

lovely as a morning sun,

refreshing as an April shower,

in my eyes you're still the one.

I should have said stanza instead, but oh well. Keep up the good work

-Jevan