His last words
were those of a clock.
"Tick tock, tick tock."
It's almost a shock.
He died crazy.
His whole world was kinda hazy.
But never,
ever was he lazy.
He used to count the time.
To the second, to the minute,
a steady rhyme.
He never had his moment to shine.
In the mental hospital he sat.
After so much time,
the once fluffy white foam
of his room,
turned flat.
He even made dents in the wall,
called it his "Personal hat."
Always counting the time
he stayed in that room.
It was his only tune.
For he was
a confused loon.
How did he go mad?
He wanted more time
for his life,
its kinda sad.
When he first went crazy,
he was just a small lad.
He turned ill.
No one even thought
to give him a pill.
He never even wrote a will.
The crazy man is dead.
His last words still linger
in his resting bed.
"Tick Tock,"
Was all he ever said.
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137,660 Literary Works • 672,057 Reviews
This is perfect. You're perfect. Lol.
Noo, you're perfect (;
Hey Secrete~
Shady here with a review for you this fine morning. c:
Oh my. This is pretty powerful. I loved watching as the poem unfolded. You start it out with an interesting concept that's a bit difficult to grasp...
But which, in a very short matter of time, reveals itself. You tie up the ending very nicely, drawing it back to the beginning-- which makes sense, once you get to the end. Well done on the idea. For a bit of grammar critique...
The line "Its almost a shock." should have an apostrophe. "It's almost a shock." Since it's a contraction for 'it is'.
Your pacing was good, but, for some reason, I nearly wanted to rap the poem.
Anyway~
Good poem. 7/10
~Shady
Thanks
I will fix it in a bit !
Woah, sounds very intense. Those padded rooms don't have clocks (I think). It's very strange to be always counting the time but very commendable that he was able too. This is a very nice poem, I like it. It has a mysterious tinge to it and it's a little deep since it brought up how the man went mad.
" How did he go mad?
He wanted more time
for his life,
its kinda sad.
When he first went crazy,
he was just a small lad."
It reminds you of how little time we have in life and how more and more people are realizing it. We spend our whole lives trying to avoid death, forget it. When you realize such a thing it's shocking. --
Thank you for the review