He curled into a ball,
not wanting the world to spin.
He knew the pills would win.
Cyber bullying was his middle name,
for it's what he had to suffer with.
There's no escape for him.
His mother burst in,
warning him it's dinner soon.
He was no match for 8 bottles of pills.
She went to him quickly,
tears spilling down her face.
Her son died from a cause that happens every day.
Cyber bullying killed a boy,
another innocent life taken today.
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Hello CapitalMonday here to review. I would like to begin with how this poem could be related to anyone who has been cyber-bullied and how they might have felt in the situation. i have never been cyber-bullied before but my friend has been once. She told me over the internet and the very next day, her mom called to tell my mum that her only daughter had died. When i heard of this, i cried or rather bawled for 10 weeks straight.
This poem shows a clear message that millions of people die just from people saying horrible things over the internet (these people could mean as a joke or a real thing). Also when i read this over again, i find no errors in this but something that people show take a look over and read.
This poem is amazing and how in the italics show the actions of what is happening to the son or how the messages as to why you decided to write this.
Farewell,
CapitalMonday
Ps: I hope you guys stay strong and you guys are all pretty in your own way.
Thanks for the review!
Hello sophiewrites here for a review!
I really like the topic your chose, it's powerful and you managed to catch its seriousness and importance and of course tragedy..
I also love how you laid out your lines, it makes the whole thing more structured and good to read. However, I feel like it takes the flow away, which makes it no so poem-y. You might wanna try work on this in your future works!
I really enjoy the line ''
Her son died from a cause that happens every day.'' By choosing the word cause, you showed how easily avoidable it is, it's not fate, it's a humans actions that can be changed.
All in all a good poem!
Sophiewrites
This is very powerful. As a victim of bullying, this was very relatable. Great job.
Thanks!
Hello brie pickles here
but does the line have to be 8 bottles of pills I mean why the number eight why not sevenGreat job with the poem, my favorite part is:
- pickles out
Hi Brianna! I'm here for a review! At least, I think this is a review. The message that you are trying to say is good. Some people really don't understand how bad cyber bullying is until they are victimized themselves. When you said "She went to him quickly, tears spilling down her face." I liked the thought I got. So yeah I'm done. Bye.