*Note* - To be completely and 100% honest, this is the first real poem I've written in probably half of a year. I've been struggling with writers block, and today I think I've finally taken a right step in defeating it. Any and all criticism is definitely welcomed, please (This poem definitely needs it!). Thank you so much.
12.06.15
i don’t know how to write love letters.
how can one begin to fathom
a letter to describe the way
it sets my heart ablaze
with flames licking every
inch of my insides to
lead the mere plaguing pain
within the depths of my soul
to a state of sheer nirvana whenever
the corners of your lips curve
upwards into a smile.
i don’t know how to write love letters.
words can not begin to contain
the amount of goosebumps that
resurface upon my skin
each and every time
your fingers trace a path along
my arms without any intent
to harm me but instead with just
a mere urge to remember
the way i feel beneath your fingertips.
i don’t know how to write love letters.
no amount of you being the
peanut butter to my jelly analogies
can explain the way your fingers
intertwining twixt my own fit
almost as perfect as the way
your lips can pause
the countdown from within my mind
from counting altogether as though
we were made to melt
into each other's embrace.
i don’t know how to write love letters.
a faint aroma of perfume
riddled in spots throughout
a shaky, handwritten page
of loopy cursive can’t begin
to explain the way
your arms wrapped around my own
leaves it near impossible
to walk in a straight line
or see without everything feeling
too bright to the naked eye,
as though i’m intoxicated by you.
i don’t know how to write love letters.
tears betraying me and slipping out
as puddles upon the letter
will never manage to express
the feeling of my insides
shaking and rattling and breaking
or the feeling of small
bits of my heart yearning
to embrace you yet still
managing to get caught within
the depths of my throat
whenever you threaten to
cease your very existence
from this life
without me.
i don’t know how to write love letters.
the feeling of my heart
shattering,
melting,
swelling,
and swooning
when you began
whispering “i love you”
softly into my ear
so not to wake me when
you assume i’ve fallen asleep
whilst we were binge watching
television on the History channel
was never destined to be
contained within the faint
blue lines of notebook paper
as a way to explain why
my heart still lurches
and stops every time i hear
the mention of your name.
i don’t know how to write love letters,
but maybe it’s fate that our lives
were destined to be felt and lived
instead of described and remembered.
(b.m.)
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Canary word: Present
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125,020 Literary Works • 672,734 Reviews
Hi, I'm Meerkat.
For a poem about not knowing how to describe love, it certainly expresses emotion very well.
Some minor edits are to capitalize i's, as well as the words "I've" and "I'm." Other than that, I really can't see any typos or spelling mistakes.
I enjoyed the pattern and flow of the words, especially in the first and last paragraphs. However, in certain instances, your phrasing could have been smoother.
For example:
"no amount of you being the
peanut butter to my jelly analogies
can explain the way your fingers
intertwining twixt my own fit"...
This might need work, as it feels a bit clunky to read in one's head.
On the other hand, I love the lines of the last stanza as they read,
"i don’t know how to write love letters,
but maybe it’s fate that our lives
were destined to be felt and lived
instead of described and remembered."
It's a beautiful verse that brings back the central theme of the poem.
I believe the purpose of poetry is to speak truth in its loveliest form. You have done so in this poem, pouring emotion into your words wonderfully.
Have a great day, and thank you for writing.
Thank you so much for the review! It means a lot
First of all, I just wanted to say that this poem was good though it's emotional level exceeded but, not that much. I still love it!
The way you construct every words, it's amazing, truly. I can feel the emotions overflowing inside and out. Very romantic. Very lovely. I think that your work was as great as ever even if it's not for others. We have different opinions, right? The point is that love is weird. It can make you crazy and lovable. You can feel every touch and laughter from someone. Maybe this thing called "love" might make you cry but, it's one of the most powerful things on earth.
I loved the way you put things on track. The verbs that you used were a blast. While reading, "shattering, melting, swelling, and swooning," it really made me a little bit emotional. This is just so, so wonderful. The flow of your lines were like a river, the ideas, continuously flowing until it reaches the end, the wonder, the love.
I guess I made it clear. I LOVE YOUR WORK SO MUCH. Many can relate through this. Great job! Lovelots.
-strwbrryyy
Thank you soo much! <3 I appreciate it
Always
Happy New Year and God bless 
Remind me to review this, but this is lovely.
Thank you so much <3
Honestly, I think this is perfect S.J. It's so raw and emotional I started tearing up at "whispering I love".
Thank you so much. <3 I appreciate it immensely.
I love this from the bottom of my heart! The poem itself is so incredibly heartwarming and it really makes you feel like you, yourself are the lover. And you mention the little things that make love great, like binge-watching something together.
Thank you so much!
I've missed your poetry. This was beautiful <3
Thank you so much <3
Some times the rhythm feels off beat to me, was this intended because it didn't flow right to me. I'm fine with the lack of punctuation because I'm like that too. The use of line breaks is good throughout the poem you successfully managed to have the all the different emotions in the poem without making it hard to read though, I like that a lot. The concept of the poem and the way you convey it makes it seem like you've written romantic poems before.
I hope the writers block has left you, write on. I'll be waiting!
This is actually the first romantic themed poem I've ever written. Thank you for the review! The rhythm isn't made to match per stanza, because just like love, the sync of things changes pretty easily. Are there any stanzas in particular you feel were off rhythm wise?
The 1st stanza felt off rhythm but now I don't really care about that since you rationalized that decision very well. Good job!
Thank you so much!
First of all, go through and correct all the capitalization errors. Such as I* and the begining of paragraphs and sentences. Other than that, I love the consept of this poem. The way it's worded, the way it's formatted, Love it! The only other thing I could think to critique it would be maybe add a bit more punctuation, but that's just a force of habit for my style of writing.
Great comeback!
In this instance, I decided to take advantage of poetic licence and leave stuff without the limitations of punctuation and capitalization. But if you think it breaks up the flow of things, I might consider changing it. Thank you so much for the review!