Young Writers Society

Home » Literary works » Poetry » Realistic

I Write For You; At Least I Thought I Did

by SecreteJournalist

I write on paper.

That part is true.

But they are just

words on a page to you.

They are important to me.

They have a good meaning...

they set me free.

Free of the chains of the

real world, you see?

Oh the words.

I write and I write,

hoping you would

notice someday.

But everyday I

sigh a little,

say something like

"Not Today."

Its sad that you

ignore me,

that's not right...

not at all.

Im going to fall.

Will you catch me?

Grab at the loose ends

of the words that set me free?

Or am I just a girl

in a sea of other

girls with more populairty?

Note: You are not logged in, but you can still leave a comment or review. Before it shows up, a moderator will need to approve your comment (this is only a safeguard against spambots). Leave your email if you would like to be notified when your message is approved.

Is this a review?



User avatar

Points: 357
Reviews: 2

Mon Sep 30, 2013 9:38 pm
View Likes
shykitty wrote a review...

I love the poem it's beutiful and sad but it catches you. I found only one mistake with spelling and it is: populairty the "i" and "r" needs to be switched. This is poem in a way relates to me but it's drawing as well. I also understand the pain it causes the narrator because i never had a boyfriend before til sometime last week.

shykitty says...

sorry still can't remember how to spell that word.

Lol, its okay (: Thanks for the review

User avatar
14 Reviews

Points: 309
Reviews: 14

Tue Aug 27, 2013 4:18 am
SolitaryCanary wrote a review...

Hey SecreteJournalist,

I relate with works of unrequited love, and this one has caught my eye. I enjoy the narrative and changes in perspective. From "Im going to fall." into "Will you catch me?" I think that these lines really tie up the emotion from the story/poem really well in the ending. The questioning/realization/doubt is very noticeable and great for this work, in my opinion.

You have missed some apostrophes here and there, but I think that's all I can say so far as revision(since stanzas have already been mentioned).

User avatar
34 Reviews

Points: 428
Reviews: 34

Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:07 am
Sparkle wrote a review...

Hi! Sparkle here to review!

This is good, it has a very relatable message and familiar tone.

Something that confused me was the rhyme scheme. Was there one? Was there multiple? It seemed to rhyme in some places and not other, which confused me a bit.

I love this line:

"Grab at the loose ends

of the words that set me free?"

It's really good imagery.

The title of this piece is good and fits it well. Also, have you considered breaking this in to stanzas? I'm not sure it needs them, but you could try fooling around with that and seeing if you like it.

Well done, this is a good start, but definitely with room for improvement!

Good job, and keep writing!

I have tried to break my poems into stanzas, but lately the publishing center will let me in my draft, but when I post it, it looks like that.

I have tried to break my poems into stanzas, but lately the publishing center will let me in my draft, but when I post it, it looks like that.

Sparkle says...

Yeah, a few other people I've talked to have had that problem too.

User avatar
221 Reviews

Points: 1476
Reviews: 221

Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:08 am
Vivian wrote a review...

This is a very... what's the word? It's a very good poem that feels so deep and I love it. Is the narrator in high school because of the last line.

It's sort of sad, the title lets out an agonizing (? =l) truth of unrequited love. I'm kind of mad that he just shoots off her work as something insignificant like simple words on paper when to her it is so much more. .v.

Nothing more comes to mind and wording is difficult. Keep writing because of course you already are or is. Grammar's not my best subject...

I say, in matters of the heart, treat yo' self.
— Donna, Parks & Rec