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138,503 Literary Works • 672,144 Reviews
Aw......it's a really cute poem!
In the third line, of the first stanza, though, it should be ''Here's'', not heres. Just a teeny grammatical error.
Otherwise, it's a nice poem! I love when people twist modern day fairytales to make up their own poems
Keep it up, SecreteJournalist!
Wow, i love the way it's so tiny. it's cute you know! ^_^
I guess, all writers should sing it together! with little change. here's how!
I can't sing! so, if needed i would do some YOYOs! XD
We are little writers
Full of ideas
Here's our writing
Isn't it exciting?
When we get an idea,
We scream in delight.
We have got an idea!
We have got to write!
haha, wonderful writing anyway! I loved it very much! For me- Best read of today
Mmkay.
Sarai here to review.
If you haven't guessed already I'm trying to review all of your poetry folder.
Anyways, to the review.
I liked this, it made me giggle. Congrats to you. Anyways I see no problems other than it would be wonderful if you could make it sound a little more like the original song like Fiend said. So, of course that concludes my review.
Don't stop writing mmkay?
Mmkay.
Love,
Sarai.
You'll be reviewing for a lonnnnngggg time if you review my full portfolio.
I will do it and then we will have a party to celebrate my success!
There's over 40 works... and I just added another. By the time you're done, I'll still be posting more from my drafts :3
Huzzah! A humourous poem! My favorite genre! (Why is everyone either depressed or in love???)
This is very funny, however I feel it could do with a litte reworking, in terms of syllables in a line. For instance, in the original the second line has three syllables. To match this in your version you would need to change the word "ideas" to a monosylabic word. Also the rhyme scheme doesn't match the original. Both these things are fine, so if you don't want to change it, a note at the beginning would help, because I instantly thought it to the tune of I'm a little teapot.
Hope this helps,
Take That You Fiend!
Yes, humorous poems yayaayaayayayayayayay!
Hey there hopeless here to give you a review.
So I wanted to start off by saying this is a really good poem. And your punctuation is very good. I like the flow of it and how short it is. I like how you used a children's song in this, as you know I love childeren songs! I have a problem with them... Any way I love this poem it seems thought out and this is something I could not do. You do have an ability to write.
Keep writing and stay beautiful!
-Sara Belle
I love how this is short. The message you are trying to give is perfectly fine too. It's true you know? The rhythm flows easily, and that is something hard to find these days! (including my own poems...)
I think the last part, "isn't it exciting?" seems a bit forced, and at the same time it doesn't. But I think best is for me not to mess with it!
GAK! This is so good that there aren't many things that need improvement except for the error in, "I have got an idea,". Otherwise, it's perfect!
I really like this poem. I like the idea of twisting an old song, into something that writers go through whenever they get a eureka moment. I found this quite humorous and i can't wait to read more of your poems and stories.
the tune hasn't changed which is very important, but i do feel that there shouldn't be any dialogue as the actual song is dialogue.
Overall, i found this really funny and cant wait to hear more from you.
Gothgirl
Its an amazing poem!
I liked it a lot!
It could be a bit Longer
But hey its really good!
DOnt stop writing!
Hi, Journalist.
"Heres" should be "here's"I appreciate what you're trying to do, and I think it's an interesting thought. I have seen nursery rhymes turned into other things before, but I've never seen "I'm A Little Teapot" changed in this manner.
However, I think there are some issues with this. First of all, if you're going to make a parody of "I'm a little teapot," you need to make it fit into the singsongy little rhyme that people do. Some of the rhythms are too short to fit into that exact thing, especially in the first stanza, so I suggest writing them differently.
The second thing I'd like to address is the last line of the first stanza. Now, I hate to say this, and I hope that you don't take this the wrong way, but your writing, while not terrible, isn't exactly exciting. When a reader is asked a question like this, they often answer in their head to the negative and tune out for the rest of the poem. I suggest you change this line so it's not a question of the quality of something.
For this short of a poem, you're probably going to want to keep your rhyme scheme fairly consistent. Here, you don't quite do that.
This line isn't cutting it for me. I feel like it's not quite what you're trying to say. I mean, you could use scream, but scream has a more negative connotation than this line warrants.
"have got" isn't grammatically correct. The correct form would be "have gotten." But that would add an extra syllable and ruin the rhythm of the line. Now on the other hand (and what I suggest), you could omit "got" completely and not mess up the rhythm so much (and make the line less awkward to read). "I've gotten an idea" is also acceptable.
Altogether, you have a nice idea, but the execution needs a little work. I hope this review was helpful to you. Happy writing.
Nice!!
I like your idea. This is funny and i sang it when i read it. Now, it's just the right size and there's not much to tell you that you did wrong. For a fact, i thought it was great!! But, if your thinking about going further with this (which i personally don't think is needed but could be a possibility) you could add in "who is speaking?", and "where is this taking place?". Since poems don't usually include these things, as I've seen, a short story could be made from this poem, like a non-fiction short story about the ups and downs of a writer, writers block and other details.
I really like the mood of your poem. Short and sweet is how I would describe this poem. The sweetness of "I'm a Little Teapot" carries itself into your poem. It makes me feel happy and little, in a good way.
I really like your work and hope to see more work from you in the future. If you have made other work, can you post their names on my wall?
Thanks,
Racket
Nice I love this one.
It's short and sweet. You know the saying, "Good things come in small packages." well that is the case for this poem. It's short and simple and i think it could be some sort of english poem said or sung in a nursery class. well done on this poem.
Hi Infinity here to review!
You poem is short, sweet and very happy. I love your interpretation of the tea-pot song, it's creative.
However I do have some slight suggestions/criticisms to make that might help improve your poem even more.
Stanza 1
"Im a little writer,
full of ideas.
Here is my writing,
is it not exciting?"
Here you need to check your grammar, "Im" needs an apostrophe, e.g. "I'm".
The first sentence is a good opening but the second two lines ruin the rhythm a bit, perhaps editing it to something like;
"Here's my writing,
isn't it exciting?"
Stanza 2
"When I get an idea,
I scream in delight.
"I have got an idea,
I have to go write!"
The repetition of idea here isn't really working in my opinion, it's a bit awkward, try using a different word to describe your new found creative insight instead of using "idea".
Overall a good poem with potential, just try re-reading and editing it a bit.
-Infinity x
Terrific!
This a poem which is short but precise on what writers feel.
When you add this poem to the "I'm a little teapot" tune, it sounds pretty good. And it's pretty catchy. I enjoyed reading this poem and I would rate it 6/10. It would be better if the poem was a little bit longer with the actual writing process. Overall, I thought this "I am a little writer" poem idea was awesome.
*Thumbs up*
Ahaha, this was cutee/adorable. I was like "Ooooh, this sounds cute!" *reads* I liked it, it was small, but really cute. I always say thing, but I looove short poems, a lot!
"Im a little writer,
full of ideas."
This was a really great way to start off, I was really looking forward to reading the rest of this short poem. But then the next two lines,
"Here is my writing,
is it not exciting?"
was a little I dunno.. Didn't really flow well, but I wasn't thaaat bad. c:
You did a really good job with this short I'm A Little Teapot interpitation. Well done, and keep up the writing!
~Winter