*Note-Yes, this is a parody. It had basically the same melody as 'Fix You by Coldplay'. Some may ask, "Why did you write this?" Well.. this songs been stuck in my head for over 4 hours. I had to get it out of my head! *
When your blade cuts deep and you start to bleed
When you feel that pain is all you really need
When your tears are quiet, but seem to scream
Stuck in a nightmare
When the blood comes streaking down your wrists
When it seems nothings worth being missed
When you move your blade a final twist
Life seems unfair
Life will make you insane
And cause you some pain
There is no escape now
The blade moves up and sinks down low
When you can't seem to let your blade go
Behind your tired eyes you seem to know
You're all alone
Life will make you insane
And cause you some pain
There is no escape now
Screams hide behind your eyes
When your happiness fades with every fear
Screams hide behind your eyes
And you cry
Screams hide behind your eyes
Your promised yourself you wouldn't cry
Screams hide behind your eyes
And you cry
Life will make you insane
And cause you some pain
There is no escape now
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139,786 Literary Works • 672,767 Reviews
Alrighty fallen here with another review:
First off the reaction for me was like. You nailed what happens when a person cuts and it rally is a nightmare and a addiction you can escape from. I like how its parody from fix you because that song is Perfect for the song you did and it makes it just that more enjoyable to reading if your alone which I am :3 Your very creative, it shows in how easily it seems this came to you. And 4 hours in your head I bet you'd had to write it down fast geeze that's a long time :3 I guess what im trying to say is That you are amazing in song lyrics, capturing emotion/ thoughts and amazing in parodies
Hey.
Well, this was really miserable wasn't it.
It was a really good idea to parody Coldplay, and I can hear the melody in my head as I read. So great job.
This could with being a bit more cheery though I reckon, like this doesn't exactly fill the reader with hope:
'
Life will make you insane
And cause you some pain
There is no escape now'
I know you have been writing about depression a lot lately, but please don't become consumed by it.
You're a great writer.
Maybe it's time you branched out now?
I have a few happy poems. Maybe I'll try and post them. I'm just not sure. My apologies for all the depressing poems.
S'ok. but yeah, a bit more variety could be cool.
Hello, rhia here to review.
As I've said before, this is really not my type of poetry, so I'll review mostly on structure, not content.
I think that you mostly did a really good job of keeping the rythym. It felt pretty natural through most of it. One thing I would advise is to add a 'but' as the first word in the "chorus's" third line, so that it's "But there is no escape now". You're missing a beat in that one, plus the respective line in Fix You starts with an "and", so you have parralleled conjunctions.
My other nitpick is that you used "blade" over and over again. It made it very blah. I advise you find synonyms for blade to remove that unaesthetic repetition.
Just a note, it isn't really a poem.
Okay, well I don't really like that type of anything, not just poetry. I feel like it's being desensitized and is part of the reason it's become such a laughing matter to some people.
xD. I just had to review this, I mean I love Fix You by Coldplay, but hey, who doesn't love a good parody?
This is a surprisingly interesting read, although is rather depressing but since is a parody I will over look that. The whole poem actually seems more fitting to be a rap song with loud, metallic music banging in the background than the soft, melodious music that accompanies Fix You. Once again, no doubt an ingenious device you have deployed to use it as a contrast.
Your lyrics actually, is pretty awesome too. Twisting Fix You's lyrics and still maintain the same rhyme without making it feel unnatural. It does create that atmosphere of desperation and suffocation as I read this over two times. And even after that, I still don't want to nitpick a parody. Because parody aren't suppose to be nitpicked. xP.
If one thing, I would add some punctuation to it, so some of the lines will be more sharp and outstanding.
Overall, nice parody, I see a future of a comedian in you, child. Best of luck!
-Laure