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SecreteJournalist



  • Mageheart
    Dec 14, 2017

    Happy birthday! I hope you have a wonderful day.


  • AnimeGirl
    Aug 30, 2017

    Louis is kinda cool yo... in fj


  • AnimeGirl
    Aug 18, 2017

    .....in fj


  • Featherstone
    Dec 14, 2016

    Happy birthday!


  • passenger
    Dec 14, 2016

    happy birthday!


  • Mageheart
    Dec 14, 2016

    Happy birthday, @SecreteJournalist! I hope you have an awesome day! ^_^


  • SecreteJournalist
    Nov 16, 2016


    Image

    "Woke up today feeling hungry as I ever have.
    And I don't usually ever brag,
    But these dreams aren't far anymore, you can tell them that."

    Plastic Dreams - G-Eazy


    Spoiler! :
    I'll admit it. I've screwed up a few times this year. Life-altering screw ups. I've made some big changes, too.

    My notebook, at times, is attached to my hip with a pen in hand. Other days, it sits upon a table. Disregarded.

    I've struggled to keep up with bills, 5 honors classes (2 of those AP), 8 classes overall versus the average 7.

    I'm in a relationship that, for a little over 8 months now, has put me through the ringer a lot. For better, for worse.

    I'm changing as a person. Growing up. Still making immature decisions.

    Often I question how I've gotten here. To where I am now. To how I sit and type in this current moment.

    Quite frankly, I can't tell you a solid answer.

    Sometimes I ponder if it's all worth it, the effort, the tears, the stress, sleepless nights, days of light eating in between shifts.

    But each day I get a little closer to these crazy dreams I never thought possible.

    I wake up each morning with a dream in my head and determination in my heart, my mind.

    So far, it's kept me to where I am now. Here, on this strange, strange world.

    This is long, confusing, choppy... hell, my relevance here on this site may be close to none anymore.

    But to anyone still reading: Keep dreaming. I believe in you.



    Mageheart I believe in you too! ^_^
    Nov 16, 2016


  • PiesAreSquared
    Aug 20, 2016

    I. Remember. You. That's. So. Weird. I. Almost. Don't. Remember. Anyone. Anymore.


  • SecreteJournalist
    Aug 12, 2016

    Image

    "Each new hour holds new chances for new beginnings,"

    Inaugural Poem - Maya Angelou


    Spoiler! :
    As high school drama, teenage lust, swards of busy young people working, the distant memory of trying to emerge from homework unharmed, and other memories get closer, I thought I'd make a statement before (for at least me) my Junior year of high school starts. Just a note I can come back to.

    I promise I won't take too long,
    but please try to hear me out.
    I know the world may feel so wrong,
    a lack of honesty and devout.

    But.

    The world will keep spinning, dear, the hands of a clock will never stop spinning. The rain will dry, the sun will become less harsh, the snow isn't always brown slush.

    It is in our moments of self defeat that we truly find our own strength.

    Don't you dare ever let go of hope.

    Outstretch your arms, shut your eyes (but be mindful of obstacles like people and walls), and keep spinning.

    Let the disorientation of your surroundings take you on a new journey on a new day and seize every moment.


    You can do this.



  • SecreteJournalist
    Jun 13, 2016

    Look Forward

    If you have 3 seconds, read this statement: Love is love.

    If you have 3 minutes, go look on the news and learn about the recent shootings.

    If you have 5 minutes, finish the rest of this post.

    If you have 10 minutes, try to brighten someone’s day.

    If you have 15 minutes, write a list of all the reasons you love someone.

    And if you have 30 minutes, drive somewhere busy and take a walk. Keep your head facing forward, any earbuds out of your ears, and just walk. Listen to the people talking. And notice how everyone is living, everyone is moving and carrying on with their life. And, so are you.

    We are all humans trying to live life with the time we have left here on Earth. But not all of us are as lucky, for some of our fellow human’s lives are cut short at the judgement and intervention of others.

    And like those humans, we COULD spend our time obsessing over the differences of others. Or, we could spend our time here enjoying life to it’s full potential, embracing others, and just living.

    Our time on Earth is short. These two shooters can NOT let us, as humanity, falter. Keep living to your fullest potential, love who you want to love, embrace others and live life as much as you can together as one united whole and remember. Always look forward.


    MooCowPoop Thank you, thank you, and thank you.
    Jun 16, 2016


  • SecreteJournalist
    Jun 8, 2016

    "Instead of twisting up words you just sat there in silence
    In wind burnt homes sighing rays from a sunset    ."

    Rory - Foxing

    Spoiler! :
    Silence is never really silence. Silence is the noise inside us all. Silence is the reason I find myself up at 2 a.m., writing shitty poetry and trying to turn my music up in my headphones just a little bit more louder. Silence is the negative words everyone has every said to me bouncing wildly around my head, crushing any bit of light I might have picked up with my eyes from the sun shining brightly outside. Silence is the shaking feeling of a panic attack, when I am left helpless to clench and unclench and clench and unclench my fists until it goes away. Silence is the overthinking, the "what if", the "maybe they", the negative doubt and uncertainty. Silence is screaming into the night only to have it echo back into your ears, a loop that goes over, and over, and over. Over. Silence is every word I've ever wanted to say left locked behind these two quivering lips that trembled at the thought of doing something wrong. Silence is the one true killer of anything I've ever loved in myself, all around 12 a.m.

    And darling don't you see, every day in this busy city, I finally find my peace.


    Willard I'm sorry but
    WHYYYYYYYYY DONT
    YOU LOVE ME BACK
    Jun 9, 2016


  • SecreteJournalist
    May 2, 2016

    "What you are basically, deep, deep down, far, far in, is simply the fabric and structure of existence itself."

    n u a g e s - dreams

    Spoiler! :
    Life is full of moments. And if a popped tire that shredded means you're stuck on the side of the interstate for an hour with your boyfriend until a car service comes to help, embrace it. Laugh at the oddity of it. Admire the trees and horizon as the sun rises to start the new day. Cuddle closer to keep warm from the breeze, heightened by the cars zipping past. Let it become an excuse not to go to school. And whatever you do, don't get angry about the situation. Just accept it as a moment of life, for these things will happen. And it did happen, and we must accept it and laugh and embrace what life threw at us. Or, at least, that's what we did!


  • SecreteJournalist
    Apr 17, 2016

    "Let me in,
    let me wonder.
    Let me worry where you've been.    "

    Too Much - Pale

    Spoiler! :
    Quite, but not alone. I sit staring at the three dots blinking, telling me that I could get a message from you. But just could. For, my life was defined in what resulted in the three dots; to sit still, or to be showered with more words. Which one makes more sense? Why do either make sense. I used to hold my breathe for you, because I knew every word from you would resurrect me if I were to perish. Baby, you told me to take risks, because you promised to catch me if I fell. I never wanted fall in love so young, because they say it shapes a person. And now here I am, a mountain that peaks with jagged lines and curved slopes, one you discovered as you vowed to climb it all, my life and those who helped create it. I never wanted to be a mountain. Hell, I never wanted to be molded. I just wanted, needed to be a 16 year old girl for a while. But things didn't work that way. And right now, my dear, I am a mountain none dare climb -- partially because I warn them, and partially because they know. There are things hidden in there I need to find, but I cant, for I have been attached to this ground for a while now. I need you to climb that mountain for me. Why did you have to promise forever, before leaving me to ponder if forever and never are really that different.


  • SecreteJournalist
    Apr 3, 2016

    "Baby you're like lightning in a bottle,
    I can't let you go now that I got it,
    And all I need is to be struck by your electric love    ."

    Electric Love - BØRNS

    Spoiler! :
    I often try to freeze time, yet am defeated as it drags me in a whirlwind of thought. Through the chaos, you are right there with me, inside my mind.

    Pathetically In Love With You.


  • SecreteJournalist
    Mar 15, 2016

    "At night when the stars light on my room,
    ​I sit by myself-
    ​talking to the moon    ."

    ​Talking To The Moon - Bruno Mars

    Spoiler! :

    "Remember, a long time ago, you mentioned how we were looking at the same moon. I'm looking at it. Every time I do, that memory pops into my head."

    "I think of you when I think of the moon too. Even if I haven't seen you in such a long time, it's still like you're just there. It makes me very happy, too."




You are not the voice in your mind, but the one who is aware of it.
— Eckhart Tolle