Young Writers Society

I really thought that amount of detail presented within this poem was something that I haven't seen before as poems tend to be rather short and lacking in such detail. I also liked your use of rhetorical questions such as:

I am so ashamed in myself anymore.

Why cant I stop it?

Questions are a really good way in drawing in a readers.

I also liked your ending and felt that it was the most power lines of your piece.

My knife, my blades,

they are my only friends.

They think I should die.

I don't know anymore.

The insane feeling is really brought out within these last lines. All in all a great job and at times I was even a little scared. Great job, keep it up!

Hey there! I'm Onyx and I will be reviewing your poem today!

Comments
Honestly, you did very well with this poem. I would say add the space between the verses but other than that, you did awesome. I like how you make it feel real, something that is happening in schools today. You did a great job detailing that, you're a very good poet.

It's addicting, thrilling,

the pain thrives me to madness.

I liked this a lot! Keep up the good work.

Over all
Again, as I had said before, you did very well detailing through this poem. I like it a lot and keep on writing. If you need anything else reviewed, feel free to post a message on my profile. I would be happy to review more of your work. Thank you so much for your time and I hope I can view some more work! Thank you,
~Onyx

Hi SecreteJournalist,DK here with review on your poem.
I really liked your poem. Full of feelings and emotions boil over, but can be well controlled in every verse. It's easy to understand because you use diction that is simple and not too secretive as most of the poems I read.
The theme of the poem may have been a cliche but still you made it different from the poems that ever written. I love the originality that exists with the value, and impressed with your imagination.

They created me, a madwomen.
One who copes with depression
with the very sharpness of a blade.
I am so ashamed in myself anymore.

This is my favorite part which have a strong impact on me,when I read it.Keep it up!
Kudos,cheers.