Allegory - A story, a poem, or a picture that can be interpreted to reveal a hidden meaning, typically a moral, or a political one.
Those cuts on her wrist?
The ones that lay like
scarlet warning signs?
It's an allegory.
That frown on her face?
The one that was once
a glowing, happy grin?
It's an allegory.
The echoing scream in her eyes?
The one that rattles a soul
to it's very existence?
It's an allegory.
Those pills that she swallowed?
The ones that glistened like
a treasure in hell?
It's an allegory.
That dizziness she felt?
Watching her sway before
dropping so suddenly?
It's an allegory.
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Hello CapitalMonday here for a review. i like to begin that i love the way you repeat allegory throughout this poem as a message or as something like a repetition of effect to create a beat for the reader to read. Also i would think that many people could relate since we (all) might have felt like we could hide our feelings, stabbing out arms with sadden thought or crying alone in the bathroom, without a thought of the world, that no one cared.
doesn't quite fit me as a favorite. I mean it seems to be to closed ending (if that makes sense).Nitpick(s):
Overall, I would think we all have that one friend who was sad forever and during that time when they are sad they start to cut or take pills. My friend did that, after her dad had died, and every night she would call me saying how she had cut or how much she wished she could have died. i tried to talk her out of it yet she had said no to me and one day, at school, she never came. This poem reminds me of her, and how my friends missed the warning signs of her killing herself just to be with her dad.
Farewell,
CapitalMonday
Hello, love! Aurora here with a final review day review for you!
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Great poem you have here! I love the repetition of your last lines, along with the decision to italicize it. It also makes your entire poem seem like you're analyzing a book, or a scene, and makes it less dramatic- which I shouldn't like, but I do, for some reason. Great overall mood
Your formatting is beautiful, and I have to ask: is this an actual style of poetry, or did you make this up?
The one critique I have for you are that your descriptions are a bit lacking- especially in your final verse. You have such beautiful figurative language previously- what happened?
Also, in your very first verse, while the decision to use the word scarlet is a strong one, it's not entirely correct. It is a poem, so you needn't change it, but scars/dried blood are not scarlet.
The use of the word allegory, finally, is the strongest point in the poem, I think. It gives an almost book-ish sense (like I mentioned above). Great job with this.
That's all the critiques I have for you.
Keep writing, love.
~Aurora
I don't think I made up this style of poetry. One day I decided I liked repeating the main point and started doing that every so often. But anyways, thanks for the review!
And as for my lack of description, I do apologize. I've been battling writers block lately, and words are slipping my mind.
Heddo.
So firstly, I can see why someone requested this to be posted.
I started reading this; and I must admit when I saw the first couple of lines I did think... oh no, not this theme again. But by the time I got to the end of the first stanza my opinion had changed completely.
From reading your title I wanted to answer the question you had posed. then reading the actual content of your ideas made m want to question it more and gain more answers and perspectives.
All the questions - some of which are and aren't rhetorical - was something I very much enjoyed going along with throughout the course of the work.
Personally, the end of the poem didn't really satisfy me:
Well... I think the allegory in this sense kind of failed because it didn't really answer any of the questions. Then again, maybe that's just me being too nosy.
XD
LOL.
Still, very well written.
Good job
~EE
I really love the diversity in the vocab. Really saddening but hard hitting at the same time. I can't really tell how much I like the way the poem was laid out though, aside from the reestablishment of allegory each time. Over l really well written and emotional and I enjoyed it, thank you for sharing!
How, or should I ask you to elaborate?
Viv here. As always Secrete your poems are fantastic and as my friend Sarah would say, angsty. Thanks for the vocab word, I really didn't know what it meant. I get there's a deeper meaning and I think I can make sense of the first stanza but the rest I'm troubled with. Don't change the poem though, there's no need for that in my opinion. (Sorry if this is a bad review. Out of practice.)
Each stanza is kind of in the matter of what you think it means. Some are a little more straight forward than others, but each has a meaning behind it. I'm not sure if this helps explain it to you, but I tried. Thanks so much for the review!
I will review this Monday. Promise!