Dying.
A mystery.
Slowly throwing away
the memories you created.
Deceased.
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Canary word: Present
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139,495 Literary Works • 672,584 Reviews
Hello dead person here to review!!!
Mmkay!
I liked this poem. It's a simple yet elegant cinquain, very beautiful and I like the death theme, as you can guess why by my username. I really saw no problems in this poem. Your punctuation is good, spelling is wonderful. I like your dying and deceased synonyms. Magnificent!
Love,
Sarai
P.S. CHEEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!
Hi again! Reviewing for review day once more! Go Epic Ice Cream Warriors of Pluto!
When reading this, I noticed that although this was very short, it still held a lot meaning, especially the body or the three lines in the middle.
This was probably one of my only problems. The poem just repeated something unnecessary twice, and it doesn't do anything with rhythm of flow. In fact, you probably don't need "deceased" at all.
This is probably something a religious freak would hate, but it's interesting because it's put into a different view of things since it is
My rating:
9/10
The poem isn't entirely perfect, so I'm sorry I need to give you a 9. Although it is a high rating.
Keep writing!
~Kitty
Hey secretejournalist!!!!
I'm hanorah and I will be reviewing your poem 'chinquain poem;death' today xD
I liked it, for a poem that only has eleven words you pretty much summed upI all we needed to know.
It was nice, short, smart and simple, things some people under rate these days. So nice work
~keep writing
Thanks!
Hellllloooooo Leo here to review:-)
Good Job!!!! That will be my first impression on your poem. have got nothing much to say, just like your poem, just that a cinquain is a poetry with five lines. Line 1 has one word (the title). Line 2 has two words that describe the title. Line 3 has three words that tell the action. Line 4 has four words that express the feeling, and line 5 has one word which recalls the title.
I see that you are not in accordance with line one, which is suppose to be the title....as well as line 5 where you recall your title...the beginning and the end of the poem is linked together with one word which expresses the entire feeling you want yo convey....
Otherwise, it is a very good attempt, and it is a fun to try out different forms of poetry...
Thank you:-)
Hi there SecreteJournalist! Nite here to review this lovely little piece.
Forms are fun to try. Although I usually prefer free verse, I've been enjoying experimenting with the forms Rydia throws at us on Writing Gooder every Wednesday. You should join us!
Now overall, I think this is really good. I especially enjoyed "Slowly throwing away the memories you created."
I thought the second line fell a bit flat. Granted, you only have four syllables, but I feel like "mystery" is a weak way to describe death.
Overall, this is good and I think you used the form well. Keep writing!
I am not exactly the most social person, so don't be sad if I don't participate in that xD But anyway, I appreciate the review
I have never seen this type of poem before,but I must say it is very intruiging. Not much of a review can be said here, can there? Your vocabulary choice is very good. To me, the poem fits together rather like a jigsaw puzzle. I just love how it starts with the present tense dying, then ends with the past tense deceased. Very nice, short poem
Thanks