Foot prints left on the sand
sand castles built by hand
Waves wash away our memories
and crush our sand castles with ease
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
139,491 Literary Works • 672,583 Reviews
Wow.
) this is short and is absolutely fabulous. It's short and sweet and amazing.
What? How?
HOW CAN YOU WRITE SO AMAZINGLY. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE FOR SOMEONE TO WRITE THIS GOOD?!
This is so good! I am a fan of writing haikus and people always say to make them longer or they're too short, but (I know this isn't a haiku by the way
I particularly like how you've made the first two lines rhyme and this poem can be taken anyway the reader wants, like Niraco said.
I love it so much, it's just- AHHH.
Really well written and thought through.
I was like "THIS DESERVES A FOLLOW. Oh, wait, I've already."
This is so good though, amazing. Great work. It deserves to be on the Spotlight if you ask me. Sorry for lack-of-improvement ideas I just can't suggest anything!
Have a great Christmas!
-CFG
Thanks for the review(:
A rather sweet poem which I feel does have a deeper meaning. For me I feel as if the sandcastle imagery perhaps suggests childhood and the waves being the big bad adulthood (Or perhaps I'm looking too much into it).
Either way the poem was pretty nice and I did really enjoy your first two lines:
I think one of the main reasons I liked this poem was because it has room for anyone to interpretative however they like. Even if it wasn't what you, the writer, was maybe going for.
Nice job and happy writing!
I really like this! It really captures the essence of the beach, and it makes me think of a cool summer night spent in the dark next to the water. The only thing about it is that I had a bit of trouble with the rhythm. With a poem about the water and sandcastles, I feel like it should have a smother flow than it does. This can easily be remedied by a couple adjustments in phrasing, I think.
"Foot prints left in the sand
sand castles built by hand
Waves wash away our memories
and crush our castles with ease"
Maybe that might work a bit better? I noticed also that grammatically, you should be using "crush" instead of "crushes".
I really do love the feel of this poem. Keep up the good work, and thank you for writing!
Wow, I like this a lot! It really gives the reader a lot to think about, and provides them with nice visuals, which is essential for most poetry. The only little thing I could say needs work is the last sentence. I feel like it breaks the flow of the poem just a little.
Keep writing, dear!