A battle between society and self-righteousness.

This is a very enjoyable read...I love how the force remains anonymous throughout the poem. I think that sometimes as writers we have such a well-developed idea of what we are writing about in our minds, but tend to forget that our readers might not have a single clue what we are talking about. I know I have done that for sure! But I must say that I really like the mysterious quality this piece has. Before I read the title it left me wondering, then after reading it once more it became more clear. I agree with a previous review saying that breaking chains symbolizing freedom is a bit overdone, however I know you are capable of great things just from reading this one poem! Especially since your page says you are only fifteen this is very impressive for you age!

This is quite good!
Keep up the amazing work
I believe that this is more than just words on paper (well on a screen)
This has meaning in it, and seems to portray something
Good Job!!!!!!

Hello SJ..

A review you request and a review you shall receive.

The first flaw I immediately caught onto was the rhyme scheme with which you wrote this in. Judging by the first opening lines I imagined this would be a poem with rhythm and zero rhyme. There were certain words you paired to rhyme together but it was never consistent and held no flow for me as a reader. I would have much rather seen you display a proper rhyming pattern, or possibly even leave it out altogether.

One thing I learned long ago about poetry (and this is entirely a preference varying from person to person) you don't necessarily need to find matching words that sink together in order to attempt to make your work flow. It just has to have a rhythm in the way it all flows together from one line to the next, as well as from each stanza to the next. You have that and you already have yourself a significantly improved poem.

The way you broke this poem apart led me feeling separated. By that I mean I would have broken apart these lines a bit differently, kept certain ideas together in the same stanza before breaking off. Like this for example:

Why leave me to rot
when I'm still breathing

A mind struggling,
a heart beating, my presence real.

Why lock me in a cell,
whilst I'm alive and well?

These are actually my favorite lines out of your whole poem. But I would correct a few things.
I would keep the third line in the second stanza here paired with the first stanza. I'm conflicted if I like my presence real. It's just kinda hanging out there if you rearrange the lines the way I suggested.

One little thing that damaged the flow to your poem was the reuse of the word broad in such close proximity to one another. The way it sounds when you reuse words that way frequently close together is almost like you can't think of any more adjectives. As if your vocabulary is so simple you can hardly construct the more complex feelings you wish to portray. This tends to come off very cheap looking in poetry and in my book a dead no-no.

Altogether the thoughts were simple, but I understand. Sometimes simple is good if you know how to navigate through a simple idea in a more complex manner that is. The audience will better respect your poem.

Anyhow, I believe my work here's done as far as review. Keep up the writing. Question what you wrote, but write what you feel. The rest will come naturally.


-Smylin'

Hmm leaves me quite silent. Well done with the word choice! I think, however, you should work more on unique metaphors. A lot of writers have used the chain metaphor to signify breaking free, etc. if you are saying the speaker was once bound and then broke free, try using a different metaphor. That part's a bit cliche. You should continue to revise it and add more imagery and description. Try and make me feel something with your word usage. Also with "whilst" you might want to change it to "while."
Overall it's good but it should be looked at more. Add more emotion. Have the reader questioning themselves about freedom and society and self righteousness. I could understand your point but its a bit vague. I hope you revise...I would love to see the revised piece of this work. You're off to a grand start!
Keep writing

Hey! IamTraunt here to review this lovely price of work!

I love some of the language features you have used in you poem here. You use a lot on integrative questions and rhetorical questions to show how the person speaking in the poem is question why should she/he be caged up when this person doesn't deserve to be.

Nitpick!

Spoiler

I'm standing tall,
grinning broadly,
broken chains on the floor.

Can't you tell I'm
alive and well?

My breath is broad
eyes alert,
awaiting acceptance.

You use 'broad/broadly' which seems quite repetitive, why not use 'my breath is steady'? Its just a suggestion

Hey secret journalist Naveshock here for a review. Well how should I start... I think I´ll start with the good and the go to the bad. I want to congratulate you for your vocabulary and mainly for managing to put the dark misterious stting very well, I was actually pretty hooked at the beginning. Now on the bad side... well I understand what you did perfectly and read the description but nonetheless that´s no excuse to just go ahead and publish it I´m sorry but the work seems unfinished, like it was cut in half it really lacks backbone. My only advice is that next time you do this at least edit it a bit. It´s really a shame cause you really have potential, I hope to see another one of your works soon, just try a little bit harder next time.