It did move too fast, but i liked it, probably because it was about a warrior.
Shine bright, deep in the night,
Telling of hero glory.
Dark skies, high up above me
Shining on battles gory.
I have seen the ways of the warrior
I have seen the bravery at heart
I know that I can face my enemies
If I just give it time
Time
Nightmares, of the past
Knowing I am not wiser
Battles have been fought here
It doesn't make me braver.
Knowing that I am, too, a warrior
That I wield the battle shield
Knowing that with all the proper training
The battle cry shall be mine
The battle cry shall be mine!
----'--,--,--'@ TBR
There is some parts where I wanna say, SHUT UP. But there are also some parts where the poem has some potential. Like in:
Nightmares, of the past
Knowing I am not wiser
Telling of hero glory.
But some parts you kind of sound like a six year old.. i know you can do better than that.. like in these parts:
Knowing that with all the proper training
I have seen the ways of the warrior
I have seen the bravery at heart
I know that I can face my enemies
Keep on working on it.
I'm not so sure about flow, but I enjoyed this, I really did. 
I don't think it jumped around too much.
I have seen the ways of the warrior
I have seen the bravery at heart
I know that I can face my enemies
If I just give it time
Time
Battles have been fought here
It doesn't make me braver.
I felt like this poem didn't really flow--and it was constantly going on to new subjects and not necessarily sticking with one thing.
If I just give it time
Time
120,192 Literary Works • 648,999 Reviews
Points: 1823
Reviews: 665
Donate