She’s teaching me a lesson
First she leaves me without a word
Stranded inside and on a deep canyon
Without a choice I have to face it all
Right now I can’t even think straight
My mind is boggling with questions
Why did she do this to me? I want to live
It’s a test, isn’t it? Some test and with failure
I suppose I will surely die
No more of this, the canyon is taunting me
It’s growing larger and I shrink
The sun will set forever and the moon won’t rise
There won’t be anymore light; none that I will see
Everything will be taken for granted and that means
I have absolutely nothing to fall back to
If I die alone learning my lesson then so be it
Would anything be able to get worse?
If I returned to the land above the canyon
Would I be recognized?
Or would this just be another case of an
Escaped depression
Not my best, but did I ever have a best? Anyway... just had to write something, my own awkward silence was killing me.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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Original Text:
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
I'll be straight, i've no idea what made you want to write this. Whatever it is i wish i could help.
Bit morbid.
This seems a little...sloppy. There's no structure, which is fine, as it's free verse, anything goes. It just didn't sound like it flowed in my head. However. The first line grabbed me, the pace was fast-perhaps you could split some lines, make the pace even faster to match the narrator's rapid, rambling thoughts. I didn't get it but you seemed to have written it for yourself, so it doesn't really matter. I don't know how you could explain it further anyway. Because I don't get it in the first place, hehe. Well I have a vague idea. Anyway I'm rambling now. Not bad. Not bad.