She was the rose, which my heart sought,
Seductive yet forbidden as fruit in the Garden of Eden.
Futile attempts for angelic nibbles of her waist,
Along with immortal compliments and skittish giggles
Dictate my swan song will unveil my passion.
Threads of her auburn hair dangle hopelessly close to me.
So thirsty, I stretch out my palm inevitably
Falling short of a beauty which
Is scented with a gorgeously sweet essence.
Her picturesque and down-hearted eyes
Give an innocence to the girl in the tattered bride's dress
Who longs for more than to be tainted by lust.
Passionately peaceful under sheets of tartan and lace
Cast a radiance off a numbed, yet refined, immortality.
The delectable skin the hue of a powdered ashy moon
Is pleasing as silk but more exquisite with
Just a tinge of blush over the features of a curvy cloud nine.
Erected up, she is a peony that leaps and sways
To fanciful music made by the tapping of tartan sandals.
From her hips thin lace flutters and feathers slap.
Her porcelain physique, of a celestial cherub,
Casts imagery of dainty yet firm chrysanthemums
Standing against unpredictable horrors and green fire
In hopes to find an aura of peace in an embrace.
Certain animosity between humans and demons
Wears thin while words of subtle earth-toned peace
Seep through the delicate petals of dark indigo lips.
A soul lost in the expansive void of adolescence
Is nurtured in the sacred rituals of faeries and maidens.
A reverence for exotic fashion on the shoulders of
Slim legged tom-boys and rainbow colored dreads
Lights up the glory and humbleness in autumn eyes.
Underneath the bloody sunrise the sultry, Gothic angel
Captains her being elusively from a hopefulness that lays
Willingly on a pinstriped sheet on top of my rhapsodic heart.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,552 Literary Works • 673,422 Reviews
I didn't want to give the main message.
Well... in my current state of mind.
By the way I'm describing, can't you tell how I feel?
Also, I "spell-chucked" it. Because "spell-chucked" seems more reasonable than "spell-checked."
Love, you know you want to use the YWS spell checker. There are just too many misspellings in here!
I digress.
The poem seems to be avoiding the Main Point. What is this Main Point? I don't know, you're avoiding it. But it looks like there is something you are dying to say in this poem, but you're meandering around and not even coming close. Just say it! You're an awesome enough poet that you don't really have to worry about poetry so much, because it comes out of you naturally.
Just... spell check it first, okay? XD