z

Young Writers Society



Dad

by Elizabeth


Dad
If you weren't here for me
I wouldn't know I was pretty
Or smart
Or a good girl

Dad,
If it wasn't for you
I wouldn't be the girl I am today
Molded into an obidient hard rock
Just like you intended

Dad,
For all the times I whined
For all the times I cried
For all those times I threw fits
I want to thank you for standing by me

Dad,
For all the yelling
For all the screaming, grounding,
Disipline and rules I hated bound to me
I thank you

Dad, I love you


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Fri Jul 01, 2005 6:52 am
Jennafina says...



Hmmm.. Your poem sounds more apologetic than apreciative... With bitter undertones.. Poor daddy. Ouch.




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Tue Jun 28, 2005 5:58 am
McKnight says...



A very excellent piece, it really brings out the fact of affection for your father. Now if only I could say that about my father....pshhh yeah right!




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Mon Jun 27, 2005 10:48 pm
Elizabeth says...



I will... I will... I just got back form the Dells myself. But I will...




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Sat Jun 25, 2005 3:51 pm
kutestuff003 says...



Nice poem Liz....you have the skills to be a good writer...which is one thing I don't quite have but I am about to leave to head home to Minnesota so I will call you when I get back. Tell Lucier I said Hi




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Tue Jun 21, 2005 9:10 pm
Duskglimmer wrote a review...



Over all... nice job. I really liked most of it...

"Dad,
For all the times I whined
For all the times I cried
For all those little toys I wanted
I want to thank you for standing by me"

The line "For all those little toys I wanted" doesn't really seem to fit into this stanza in my mind.

And I think that you could have done entirely without the last line and just left it at a thank you, but that's just me.

I really enjoyed reading this.




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Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:10 am
Elizabeth says...



Well some parents like their kids to be GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD :nudge nudge: :P Fidel Castro? Should I tell my dad you're being mean/nice to him? I don't know which one.




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Tue Jun 21, 2005 5:06 am
Sam wrote a review...



'Molded into an obidient hard rock
Just like you intended'

Uhm...woah. This is not exactly a way to show respect to your Daddy-O, if you get what I mean. :P He probably doesn't want to be likened to Fidel Castro, don't you think? Lol. Good stuff, man.





"Life, although it may only be an accumulation of anguish, is dear to me, and I will defend it."
— Mary Shelley, Frankenstein