Dad
If you weren't here for me
I wouldn't know I was pretty
Or smart
Or a good girl
Dad,
If it wasn't for you
I wouldn't be the girl I am today
Molded into an obidient hard rock
Just like you intended
Dad,
For all the times I whined
For all the times I cried
For all those times I threw fits
I want to thank you for standing by me
Dad,
For all the yelling
For all the screaming, grounding,
Disipline and rules I hated bound to me
I thank you
Dad, I love you
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139,464 Literary Works • 672,570 Reviews
Hmmm.. Your poem sounds more apologetic than apreciative... With bitter undertones.. Poor daddy. Ouch.
A very excellent piece, it really brings out the fact of affection for your father. Now if only I could say that about my father....pshhh yeah right!
I will... I will... I just got back form the Dells myself. But I will...
Nice poem Liz....you have the skills to be a good writer...which is one thing I don't quite have but I am about to leave to head home to Minnesota so I will call you when I get back. Tell Lucier I said Hi
Over all... nice job. I really liked most of it...
"Dad,
For all the times I whined
For all the times I cried
For all those little toys I wanted
I want to thank you for standing by me"
The line "For all those little toys I wanted" doesn't really seem to fit into this stanza in my mind.
And I think that you could have done entirely without the last line and just left it at a thank you, but that's just me.
I really enjoyed reading this.
Well some parents like their kids to be GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD :nudge nudge:
Fidel Castro? Should I tell my dad you're being mean/nice to him? I don't know which one.
'Molded into an obidient hard rock
He probably doesn't want to be likened to Fidel Castro, don't you think? Lol. Good stuff, man.
Just like you intended'
Uhm...woah. This is not exactly a way to show respect to your Daddy-O, if you get what I mean.